To my Employer,

I have enjoyed working here these past several years. You have paid me very well and given me benefits beyond belief. I have 3 to 4 months off per year and a pension plan that will pay my salary till the day I die and then pay my estate one year's salary death bonus and then continue to pay my spouse my salary (with increases) until she or he dies along with a health plan that most people can only dream of having. Despite this, I plan to take the next 12 to 18 months off to find a new position. During this time I will show up for work when it is convenient for me. In addition, I fully expect to draw my full salary and all the other perks associated with my current job. And oh yes, if my search for this new job proves fruitless, I will be coming back with no loss in pay or status. Before you say anything, remember that you have no choice in this matter. I can, and I will do this.

Sincerely,

Every Member of Congress