As I was driving my mother to the airport the other day she was coughing away. I said,"You don't sound too good,are you sure you should be flying? Why don't you wait a day or two?"

"Oh,no,I'm not contagious. I've heard people on planes worse then me!"

As if that makes it alright. In my mother's world,it does. She has a different "reasoning" system then most people. And an excuse for everything! 

The whole time we're on the road she's yakking away about her coworker, how she's been out....cough  cough....and the work is piling up....hack...hack....and blah,blah,blah.....

Her coworker is the bane of her existence. I've been hearing stories about her for years. I feel as if I know the woman personally though we never met. You would think she was my mother's best friend instead of her "worst enemy",judging from the sort of intimate details I've been privy too. All of this goes in my one ear and out the other but at 70 years young, my mother's mind is very sharp and can remember all these things,I don't know how she does it. I've had to practically BEG her to retire and she's finally giving in this year.

"Whoa!!" She grabs onto the dashboard in a panic.

This is the bane of MY existence, her "whoas" when we drive anywhere together. Her eyes aren't what they used to be and everything must seem to be closer then it really is. She always believes the car next to us is just about to hit us.

"You gotta watch these people,they don't know how to drive." and in the next breath...".........and now she's going to have to......huh!huh!.......and THEN she's,well,you remember what I told you last time what she did......cough! cough!........"

"You're going to get everyone sick on the plane!" I practically yelled. 

"Oh,there's just a lot of dust in the air!" she said waving her hands in front of her face. NO,she's just talking too much,as usual.

My mother is a very dangerous person to have in the car. With her talking and fluttering about,(she's very animated),she can be quite distracting on the road. She has failed to realize this.

Only 7 miles away but it seems like 100, we finally make it to the airport, car intact,amazingly to her. She can never believe it when she gets out of the car most times and the doors aren't dented somehow. You know,that truck came AWFULLY close,he was practically in OUR LAP!

I pull up to the terminal. I love my mother,this mass of nerves and contradictions. We are close and we're not. On one hand I am glad to see her go away for awhile and on the other,I will miss her and her unintended comedy. She is nuts,but she is the only mother I have.

I go to reach over and give her a little hug goodbye but she quickly opens the door. She rustles around in her purse and puts a kleenex over her mouth and taps my hand goodbye instead. 

"Well,I better get out. I don't want you catch anything!"

All of a sudden she's contagious. 

As I watch her hurriedly pull her luggage on wheels down the sidwalk she gives me that tight little smile she always does and the wave.

Yes,mom,you are contagious. And I'm glad I caught you....as my mom.