On the first day of Christmas, the funeral biz gave to me: A brand-new shiny hearse key.

On the second day of Christmas, the funeral biz gave to me: Two grieving families, And a brand-new shiny hearse key.

On the third day of Christmas, the funeral biz gave to me: Three fitted suits, Two grieving families, And a brand-new shiny hearse key.

On the fourth day of Christmas, the funeral biz gave to me: Four calling ministers, Three fitted suits, Two grieving families, And a brand-new shiny hearse key.

On the fifth day of Christmas, the funeral biz gave to me: Five golden urns! Four calling ministers, Three fitted suits, Two grieving families, And a brand-new shiny hearse key.

On the sixth day of Christmas, the funeral biz gave to me: Six pallbearers lifting, Five golden urns! Four calling ministers, Three fitted suits, Two grieving families, And a brand-new shiny hearse key.

On the seventh day of Christmas, the funeral biz gave to me: Seven eulogies drafting, Six pallbearers lifting, Five golden urns! Four calling ministers, Three fitted suits, Two grieving families, And a brand-new shiny hearse key.

On the eighth day of Christmas, the funeral biz gave to me: Eight plots preparing, Seven eulogies drafting, Six pallbearers lifting, Five golden urns! Four calling ministers, Three fitted suits, Two grieving families, And a brand-new shiny hearse key.

On the ninth day of Christmas, the funeral biz gave to me: Nine florists arranging, Eight plots preparing, Seven eulogies drafting, Six pallbearers lifting, Five golden urns! Four calling ministers, Three fitted suits, Two grieving families, And a brand-new shiny hearse key.

On the tenth day of Christmas, the funeral biz gave to me: Ten hearses lining, Nine florists arranging, Eight plots preparing, Seven eulogies drafting, Six pallbearers lifting, Five golden urns! Four calling ministers, Three fitted suits, Two grieving families, And a brand-new shiny hearse key.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, the funeral biz gave to me: Eleven directors meeting, Ten hearses lining, Nine florists arranging, Eight plots preparing, Seven eulogies drafting, Six pallbearers lifting, Five golden urns! Four calling ministers, Three fitted suits, Two grieving families, And a brand-new shiny hearse key.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, the funeral biz gave to me: Twelve mourners mourning, Eleven directors meeting, Ten hearses lining, Nine florists arranging, Eight plots preparing, Seven eulogies drafting, Six pallbearers lifting, Five golden urns! Four calling ministers, Three fitted suits, Two grieving families, And a brand-new shiny hearse key.