Three priests were in a railroad station on their way home to Pittsburg. Behind the ticket counter was a very sexy, shapely well endowed woman wearing a very tight skimpy sweater. She made the three priests very nervous, so they drew straws to determine who would get the tickets.

The first priest approached the window, 'Young lady, I would like three pickets to titsburg.' He completely lost his composure and fled. The second priest goes to the window, young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburg and I would like the change in nipples and .'

Mortified, he too fled.   'Morons...' the third priest mutters and moves to the window, 'Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburg and I would like the change in nickles and .

And if you insist on dressing like that, when you get to the pearly gates, St.  Finger's going to shake his Peter at you.'

They took the bus.