"When some cold tomorrow finds you...When some sad old dream reminds you....."

One of the downfalls of living in your childhood home is that moment when looking out the front window no longer conjures up thoughts of the future but, alas, the past instead. I guess that's where I'm at these days. Or been at for awhile now. Is it sad? Naw. Everyone reaches that point in their life when you just know your best days are behind you. And that's okay. Even though you don't really realize when your best days are happening.

Now I'm in a constant state of nostalgia . Now I begin sentences with..."Well, when I was younger...." and  "Remember when...",lol. 

It is difficult for me to venture out and walk my neighborhood these days. Every step, every crack in the sidewalk, every house, around every corner reminds me of something. I was never more aware of this then last week when I took my regular trip to the grocery store. 

The house on the corner. I know this has probably been mentioned in some of my older blogs. But that house on the corner was my best friend's grandmother's house back when when we were children. I spent a lot of time at that house. And especially on the porch ledge that faces the street. Oh the times we spent sitting up there during summer vacations, laughing and waving at the cars going by. The opening strains of "While You See A Chance" just happened to be playing in the car as I rounded the corner on my way home from the store and I glanced at the porch for the first time in quite awhile and found myself bursting into tears.

Was it really so long ago? It feels like yesterday. I can taste Mother's taffy cookies (remember those?) when thinking about that house on the corner. That was always what we had as snacks over there. I can hear the air conditioner that was in the living room window. I see the Bee Gees guest starring on The Merv Griffin Show in the afternoon. I hear "Everlasting Love" by Andy Gibb playing on the Magnavox stereo. Was it really so long ago?

I have stories about almost every house around me, around the block too, the people that used to live there, the goings on. When I was a kid most of my neighbors were elderly. They've all passed away by now. I am the only "original" resident left on my street, the last lady died about 3 years ago at 94. I could tell each new neighbor all kinds of stories that have happened at their house but I don't want to creep them out, lol, but sometimes I secretly want to write a tell all about it. Not that there's anything sinister or bad, just a little history. 

Ah...history! A couple of summers ago I finally put all the family photos into albums. 10 altogether when all was said and done. All the photos my father (mostly) took of our family growing up. 

The paper photos had all been stored in 2 big boxes and it took me the entire summer to put them in chronological order. I felt a great accomplishment. But then, I thought, hmmm. There's really no one to leave them to as I have no children. My sister never had children either so there will be no kids, grandkids, nieces or nephews to leave them to. Someone will probably throw them in the trash someday and it will be as if we never existed. So I try to enjoy them while I'm still here on this great earth. 

It has been quite awhile since I have blogged. The pandemic came and went. I was like a hermit during the last few years.

I haven't seen ole pixie doo (my mother,lol) since my last blog which was in 2018. She just turned 88 a couple of weeks ago. Traveling is sort of out of the picture now for her. She can't hear or see very well and I just can't fathom her flying alone here. I didn't want her on a plane getting covid either during those years so here we are. I talk to her on the phone every once in awhile. She is still talking about her favorite tv shows and I send her word search puzzle books all the time. My sister takes good care of her and keeps me updated on mom a couple of times a week. My sister's ex husband moved in with them during the pandemic. They are the very best of friends even though the marriage didn't work. He is sort of my mother's "caretaker" these days. He makes sure she takes her pills, takes her out grocery shopping and to the Golden Corral buffet once a week,lol. Sis is still working so he's been a great help to her. He is retired. Recently my mother keeps calling him "Tony" which is my father's name. We get a laugh out of that. Mom is still pretty sharp and when I hear her voice she still sounds the exact same, excitable and with a youthfulness that will probably never go away. I do have plans to visit her if I can muster up the strength to get on a plane. I abhor flying with a passion but...88? Yikes. Anything can happen at any time, I know, I know. Get it together, lottolaughs!

There have been deaths in the family. My father's side of the family...his sister (my Aunt Rose) in 2021 age 95 and his brother (my Uncle C) in 2022 age 91 almost exactly a year later. My cousin lost his daughter at 43 from breast cancer. It's been humbling because my family is not very big at all. There are so few left but what can you do? You just have to keep chugging along.

Another "death" of sorts happened which I am (still) torn up about. But that's another blog. It leads to some more photos that what's left of my family has discovered. Photos of my father and his whole family when they were young. Uncle C was an amateur photographer and took tons of photos. Unbeknownst to us we found rolls of undeveloped film in a locker at his house after he died. These were taken in the 40's and 50's. Photos no one had ever seen. Over a 1000 photos. 

What could they be of? Tune in for Part 2 :)