This is the kind of thing we used to find on parody sites. Now, you can just look at the news from no-longer-so-Great Britain.
A gardener who fenced off his allotment with barbed wire after being targeted by thieves has been ordered to take it down – in case intruders scratch themselves.
Bill Malcolm erected the 3ft fence after thieves struck three times in just four months, stealing tools worth around £300 from his shed and ransacking his vegetable patch.
But Bromsgrove district council has ordered the 61-year-old to remove the waist-high fence on health and safety grounds.
You are free to bust your hump, but no guns or other means to protect your life and property. The elected criminals know that if you can defend yourself against their unelected counterparts, you can come after them, too. They have done this in Britain, Australia, and Canada. Americans think they are exempt; except the ones who stayed in New Orleans after hurricane Katrina. Youtube.com/watch?v=-taU9d26wT4