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New Stock Market Terms

Published:

Came in email.
 

New Stock Market Terms

CEO -
     Chief Embezzlement Officer
 
 
CFO -
     Corporate Fraud Officer
 
 
BULL MARKET -
     A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself
     for a financial genius.
 
 
BEAR MARKET -
     A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets
     no jewelry, and the husband gets no < snip >.
 
 
VALUE INVESTING -
     The art of buying low and selling lower.
 
 
P/E RATIO  -
     The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps
     crashing.
 
 
BROKER  -
     What my financial planner has made me.
 
 
STANDARD & POOR -
     Your life in a nutshell.
 
 
STOCK ANALYST -
     Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
 
 
STOCK SPLIT -
     When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between
     themselves.
 
 
MARKET CORRECTION -
     The day after you buy stocks.
 
 
CASH FLOW -
     The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
 
 
YAHOO -
     What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
 
 
WINDOWS -
     What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo at
     $240 per share.
 
 
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -
     Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse. 
 
 
AND  FINALLY ~~~
 
 
PROFIT -
     An archaic word no longer in use.
Entry #1,091

Comments

1.
emilygComment by emilyg - April 1, 2009, 1:30 am
LOL   Thanks
2.
konaneComment by konane - April 1, 2009, 10:43 am
Thanks Em, thought it was funny too!!!

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