New Stock Market Terms

Published: March 31, 2009, 9:03 pm

Came in email.

New Stock Market Terms

CEO -

Chief Embezzlement Officer

CFO -

Corporate Fraud Officer

BULL MARKET -

A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself

for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET -

A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets

no jewelry, and the husband gets no < snip >.

VALUE INVESTING -

The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO -

The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps

crashing.

BROKER -

What my financial planner has made me.

STANDARD & POOR -

Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST -

Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT -

When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between

themselves.

MARKET CORRECTION -

The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW -

The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO -

What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS -

What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo at

$240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -

Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

AND FINALLY ~~~

PROFIT -

An archaic word no longer in use.

Entry #1,091

Comments

emilyg - Apr 1, 2009, 1:30 am

LOL Thanks

konane - Apr 1, 2009, 10:43 am

Thanks Em, thought it was funny too!!!

New Stock Market Terms

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