Symptom : Feet cold and wet.
Fault : Glass being held at incorrect angle.
Solution : Turn glass so that open end is pointing at ceiling.
Symptom : Bar moving.
Fault: You are being carried out.
Solution : Find out if you are being taken to another bar. If not complain loudly that you are being hi-jacked.
Symptom : Everything has gone dim.
Fault : The pub is closing.
Solution : PANIC!!