Thank you for making a law that says I have to smoke these new fire safe cigarettes. It is comforting to know that I can now smoke safely while in bed drunk.
Now, if you could just make a law that prevents me from spilling the dadgum whiskey all over the bed when I pass out with the cigarette in my hand...
And shouldn't there be a new emissions control law on cigarette lighters? I'm sure I've killed at least a dozen Polar Bears from flicking my Bic thirty times or so to re-light every dadgum fire safe cigarette every dadgum time it goes out. I'm sure there must be a hole in the Ozone the size of a doublewide just over my trailer that's sending Global Warming into Warp Drive. Please have NASA check it out. We definitely need more laws to keep people in line and obedient. Some people can get carried away with that freedom thing.
Thanks Dude, You Rock