Thank You Mr President

Published: December 22, 2009, 5:02 am

Thank you for making a law that says I have to smoke these new fire safe cigarettes. It is comforting to know that I can now smoke safely while in bed drunk.

Now, if you could just make a law that prevents me from spilling the dadgum whiskey all over the bed when I pass out with the cigarette in my hand...

And shouldn't there be a new emissions control law on cigarette lighters? I'm sure I've killed at least a dozen Polar Bears from flicking my Bic thirty times or so to re-light every dadgum fire safe cigarette every dadgum time it goes out. I'm sure there must be a hole in the Ozone the size of a doublewide just over my trailer that's sending Global Warming into Warp Drive. Please have NASA check it out. We definitely need more laws to keep people in line and obedient. Some people can get carried away with that freedom thing.

Thanks Dude, You Rock

Ridge Runner

(Locked)

Entry #1

Comments

jarasan - Dec 22, 2009, 9:16 am

Somebody needs to bring a lawsuit and repeal the fire safe cigarette on the basis that the chemicals they add to make it FSC are more harmful than just the plain cigarette or burning the house down!

jarasan - Dec 22, 2009, 9:23 am

They add ethylene vinyl acetate to the wrapper. <snip>. If they couldn't get taxes from them and were serious about the effects they would outlaw them.

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/repeal-fire-safe-cigarette-laws

http://hubpages.com/hub/Fire-Safe-Cigarettes

jarasan - Dec 22, 2009, 9:24 am

<snip> = ba$tard$

konane - Dec 22, 2009, 9:24 am

Cute! I'd been wondering about those smokeless cigarettes too.

Rick G - Dec 22, 2009, 11:13 am

The gummint knows what is best for us. Let's not question their decision to kill many more people with chemicals than the people setting their beds on fire in the first place.

If they were really concerned (HA!) about our health they could encourage people to switch to e-cigarettes which require no fire, produce no smoke and have no chemicals other than vaporized nicotine.

time*treat - Dec 22, 2009, 12:40 pm

Maybe the chemical companies needed another place to dump their waste. When enough of us complain about it, they'll add lithium to the drinking water to put us in a better mood. ;)

MADDOG10 - Dec 22, 2009, 8:34 pm

Aw com'on Bros, you know the brother got that law put into place, so's we wouldn't be able to sees the adds ons in that there democratic health bill. Them Dems is slick and theys got it going on now. left on bro....!
If you see him sportin a pale spot in the middle of his forehead, only means he's about a quart LOW...!

tiggs95 - Dec 23, 2009, 7:40 pm

Reminds me when my wife and me got married in 1962 we moved to Sarasota,Fla and I worked for the Sarasota Tribune midnights..I came home in the morning when I got out of work and laid down on the bed of our one room apt and was smoking a cigg and fell asleep..My wife saw smoke coming from the bed and woke me up..We turned the mattress over and moved out..Those where the days..I miss them..

Thank You Mr President

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