How could i put this...The capital of Panama has been experiencing more violence in recent years..And robbing people is becoming something of a common place, they rob with guns...And when i watch the TV SOMETIMES again SOMETIMES, listen if they rob you or me you are at their mercy but sometimes in my dad´s house i get mad and i say to myself if i could only grab them, look robing someone with a gun is not a big thing as long as they dont shoot you, but the robbers nowadays shoot you and while you are laying in the floor dead then they rob you is something that is starting to become common here...Well sometimes i get mad and i say to myself i am scared of something black and small (the gun) something that looks to me tiny...And not every time but many times when i think this stuff seconds after i bite my tongue/lips twice, or if i am eating i drop the fork and the fork falls hits me in my feet with the throngs head on, or a spoon falls and hits me EXACTLY RIGHT where i have a cut in my foots (not 2 centimers to the left or right but right where the cut is), or i am walking i cut myself right where i had the other cut, or something in my body starts hurting or i get a headache, and small little cuts or small pounding on my cuts i dont yelp saying: auch, but when this things happen i yelp: Aiiii!!! or Auch!!! as if by reaction...And then i stop and think did i just say: Auch!! at that little thing...

I remember 1 time there was 4 guys that came and visit me and they were bulky and i got like macho man thinking i take the crap out of them, and as i did that: i had a terrible pain in my lower back i thought i was dying i had to be put in bed in 1 position could not move or stand up straight and i could barely breathe...When the guys were gone later in the day the pain went away....

i dont know if is a unconcious reaction or what...