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"25 ways to tell if you're a Redneck


"25 ways to tell if you're a Redneck
1. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

5. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people."

6. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

7. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey y'all watch this."

8. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

9. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

10. Your junior prom had a daycare.

11. You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen start your engines."

12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

13. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.

14. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

15. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

16. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

17. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

18. You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

19. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

20. Somebody hollers "Hoe Down" and your girlfriend hits the floor.

21. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

22. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

23. Your working T.V. sits on top of your non-working T.V.

24. Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home.

25. You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.
Entry #103


Comment by shalini - November 2, 2005, 11:27 am
very funny
konaneComment by konane - November 2, 2005, 11:31 am
Thanks much!!
Comment by cowgirlpoet - November 2, 2005, 11:41 am
Oh, yeah! Me and mine may fit a few of those criteria, but I'm not telling which.
konaneComment by konane - November 2, 2005, 12:13 pm
We probably all do but might not like to admit it!!
emilygComment by emilyg - November 2, 2005, 12:46 pm
funny - true -
ToddComment by Todd - November 6, 2005, 6:59 pm
That's funny! I especially like the "Cool Whip salad bowls".
konaneComment by konane - November 6, 2005, 7:07 pm
My alltime favorite is you can tell you're a redneck if your front porch falls in from too many dogs on it. Most of 'em thanks to Jeff Foxworthy.

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