So I decided it would be lots of fun to join the internet dating scene. put a little "mystery" into the mix .... small towns being such as they are.    A girlfriend had done this, but she ended up with a bridge playing antique buff who I thought was a little over the top as some  "sensitive new age guy", but then she may have lowered her standards.

I signed up for something called e-harmony. 

They had this questionaire to decide if I was touchy-feely, intelligent, funny, sour, judgemental, etc.

Okay, so here I am in the "internet dating scene", only I don't put my picture out there because it's  embarrasing ----- what if somebody I know sees it  ------ "My God, she must be DESPERATE!", I imagine they'll say.

I'm going about it half way, I know.

Okay, so here come the "matches". 

Doctor, Lawyer, Indian Chief. 

Golfer, bowler, preacher, thief.

"Wait, wait", I tell e-harmony.  "I'm not going to move to the city, I don't play golf, ditto bowling.  Just come up with a good old country boy, one that can read and write would be nice.  No religious fanatics, thanks just the same."

Here come more of the same.  Generic. 

Meanwhile, I'm having a good old time, always meeting people, or seeing old friends at the livestock sale,  the real estate office, even the local coffee hang-out.

My girlfriend, on the other hand is doing her best to learn bridge.  Pretending to enjoy those antiques that she never gave a darn about before.   Making every effort for this "love of her life" (that's the e-harmony catch phrase, by the way).

I continuie to shuffle through the deck of "prospects", boring, boring, too religious, boring, not simpatico, boring, boring, too young, boring and on and on and on.

After a month, e-harmony and I part ways.  I don't fit the mold.  Neither do they.  I don't need 'em, thanks very much.

After a couple of months, my girlfriend is back at it again.  The "love of her life" wasn't.

Doesn't it sort of remind you of "mail order brides"?