WHY ATHLETES AND Coaches CAN'T HAVE REGULAR JOBS:

1.  Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
"I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all
the kids to copulate me."

2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.."

3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skin's say:
"I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,"
  Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
"He treat us like mens. He let us wear earrings.."

5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann:
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like
Norman Einstein."

6. Senior basketball player at the  University of Pittsburgh :
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.."
(Now that is beautiful)

7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:
"You guys line up alphabetically by height.."
  And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle."

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison:
"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison
for three years, not Princeton .."

9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps
a color photo of himself above his locker:
"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen
of heavyweight Andrew Golota:
   "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless
of what time it is."

11.  Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining
to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
   "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be
an uncle or an aunt.   (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature
in January)

12. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
   "I asked him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?'
      He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"

13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he
told a player who received four F's and one D:
   "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."

14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford:
   "I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious."