Hope you're getting yourselves all primed up to eat a lot of flour, sugar, poultry, pumpkin innards and yams in various stages of decomposition.
On the way out to the boonies the other day I picked up a Gallup Independent newspaper off the shelf at the Acoma Pueblo gas and flour shop. The headlines grabbed me.
Seems we New Mexicans are only forth in the nation as the US distributor of sexually transmitted diseases, but we're struggling and elbowing our way upward. Evidently a lot of us aren't yet doing our fair share, are shirking our statistical duties and obligations to make it unanimous.
I'll admit I've been remiss and can only say I've been sort of busy working on the numbers and haven't had seen myself as having time to get out to Gallup or Farmington to try to contract a case. Syphillis appears to be the most romantically appealing out there. Seems there are almost as many secondary cases floating around as there are primary cases. Which means there are plenty of New Mexicans who have the good sense to hang on tight to it, once they've got it, and not take any chances on losing it by going to some sawbones who might be able to rob us of it.
If a person goes to all the trouble and risk to hang around the places you have to go in order to pick that stuff up, most likely you're better off keeping the one you've got, rather than having to go back and try to get it again because of some nosy interfering medico.
All the rest of you states, eat your hearts out. Eat our dust. New Mexico is going to be number one, same as we are on alcohol related automotive deaths. You'll never catch us.