01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

03. No one expects you to run -
anywhere.

04. People call at  9 PM and ask,"Did I wake you?"

05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

07. Things you buy now won't wear out.

08 You can eat supper at 4 PM.

09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your
stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator
music.

14. Your eyes won't get much
worse.

15. Your investment in health
insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate
meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your
friends because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is
finally down to manageable size.

19. You can't remember who sent you this list.

20. And you notice these are all in BIG PRINT for your convenience.   

Forward this to every one you can remember right
now!

And never, under any circumstances,
take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same
night!