THIS RECESSION IS SO BAD ................

.....I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

.....CEOs are now playing miniature golf.

.....Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

.....A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with
rolls of pennies while she danced.

......I met a polygamist with only one wife.

.....If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds,"
you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

.....McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

.....Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .

......My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it
-----so they re-possessed her!

......The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed
by Somali pirates.

......Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh great!
The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated
by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally.......

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.