2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a
4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed
6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write
7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again
9. "The answer to this question will determine whether you are drunk or
10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
12. "In God we trust; I don't think so, we run you all through NCIC." (National Crime
13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"
14. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief of Police is a personal friend of
AND THE WINNER IS....