Last week, she checked into a motel on her 70th birthday and she was a bit lonely.
                            She thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts
                            and sensual massages." She looked through the phone book and found a full page ad
                            for a guy calling himself Tender Tony - a very handsome man with assorted physical
                            skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy
                            hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and she felt quite certain she could
                            bounce a silver dollar off his well oiled bum... She figured, what the heck, nobody will
                            ever know. I'll give him a call.
                            "Good evening, ma'am, how may I help you? . . . Oh my, he sounded sooo sexy!

Afraid she would lose her nerve if she hesitated, she rushed right in, "Hi, I hear you give
                            a great massage. I'd like you to come to my motel room and give me one. No, wait, I
                            should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hot,
                            and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in
                            your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night - tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup
                            and whipped cream, anything and everything; I'm ready! Now how does that sound?"

He said, "That sounds absolutely fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line"