I received this from a friend. Have no idea who is the original author.

DIVORCE AGREEMENT- -
> WRITTEN BY  YOUNG COLLEGE STUDENT
> The person who wrote this is a college student.  Perhaps there is hope for us after all.
> 
> DIVORCE  AGREEMENT
> 
> THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY  BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR  HIM.
> 
> Dear American liberals, leftists, social  progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck  together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this  latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we  tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations,  but  sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.
> 
> Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on  what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile  and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
> 
> Here is a our separation agreement:
> 
> --Our two  groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar  portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come  to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our  respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides  have such distinct and disparate tastes.
> 
> -We don't like  redistributive taxes so you can keep them.
> 
> --You are  welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
> 
> 
> --Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the  NRA and the military.
> 
> --We'll take the nasty, smelly  oil  industry and the coal mines, and you can go with wind, solar and  biodiesel.
> 
> --You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie  O' Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big  enough to move all three of them.
> 
> --We'll keep  capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall  Street.
> 
> --You can have your beloved lifelong welfare  dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal  aliens.
> 
> --We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy  CEO's and rednecks.
> 
> --We'll keep Bill O'Reilly, and  Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .
> 
> --You can make  nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer  places that threaten us.
> 
> --You can have the peaceniks and  war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help  provide them security.
> 
> --We'll keep our Judeo-Christian  values.
> 
> --You  are welcome to Islam, Scientology,  Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.  but we will no longer be paying the bill.
> 
> --We'll keep  the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and  Leaf you can find.
> 
> --You can give everyone healthcare if  you can find any practicing doctors.
> 
> --We'll keep "The  Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."
> 
> --I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World  to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".
> 
> --We'll  practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty  your best shot.
> 
> --Since it often so offends you, we'll  keep our history, our name and our flag.
>
>
>
> Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded  liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit  delete.
> In the spirit of friendly  parting, I'll bet you might  think about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
>
>
>
> Sincerely,
> 
> John J. Wall
> 
> Law Student and an American
> 
> P.S. Also, please  take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen, Barbara Streisand, &  (Hanoi) Jane Fonda with you.
> 
> P.S.S. And you won't have to  press 1 for English when you call our country.