For those that don't know about history ... Here is a   condensed version:



Humans originally existed as members of   small bands of nomadic
hunters/gatherers. They lived on  deer in  the  mountainsduring  the summer and would go
to the coast and  live on fish and lobster  in the winter.

The two most important  events in all of  history were the invention of beer
and the invention  of the  wheel The wheel was invented to get  man to the
beer.  These were the foundation of  modern civilization and together were the 
catalyst for the splitting of  humanity into two distinct subgroups: 

1 . Liberals
2.  Conservatives.

Once beer was  discovered, it required  grain and that was the beginning of 
agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum  can were invented  yet,
so while  our early humans were sittingaround  waiting for  them to be
invented, they just stayed close to the  brewery. That's how  villages were  formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and   killing animals to BBQ at night
while they were drinking beer.  This  was the beginning of what is known as the
Conservative  movement.... 

Other  men who were weaker and less  skilled at hunting  learned to live off
the conservatives by showing up for  the nightly  BBQ's and doing the 
sewing, fetching, and hair   dressing.This  was the beginning of the Liberal
movement.

Some  of these liberal men eventually  evolved into women. They became known 
as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal  achievements include the 
domestication of cats, the invention of group  therapy, group hugs, and  the concept of
Democratic voting to decide how to divide the  meat and  beer that
conservatives provided.


Over the years conservatives  came to  be symbolized by the largest, most
powerful land animal on  earth, the  elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the 
jackass for  obvious reasons.

Modern liberals like  imported beer (with lime  added), but most prefer
white  wine or imported bottled water.   They eat raw fish

but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu,  and  French food are standard
liberal fare.. Another interesting   evolutionary side note: most of their
women have higher testosterone levels  than their  men.Most  social workers,
personal injury  attorneys,  journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group
therapists are  liberals. Liberals  invented the designated hitter rule because it 
wasn't fair to  make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives  drink  domestic beer, mostly Bud or Miller. They eat red meat
and still  provide for their  women. Conservatives are big game hunters, 
rodeo  cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical  doctors, 
police officers, engineers, corporate executives,   athletes, members of the
military, airline pilots and  generally anyone  who works productively.

Conservatives who own companies hire other   conservatives who want to work
for a living.

Liberals produce   little. They prefer to govern the producers....
and decide what to do with  the production.  Liberals believe Europeans are
more enlightened than  Americans. That is  why most of the liberals remained
in Europe when  conservatives were coming  to America . They crept in after
the  Wild  West was tamed and created a  business of trying to get  something
for  nothing.

Here ends  today's lesson in world  history:

It should be noted  that a Liberal may have a momentary  urge to angrily
respond to the above before forwarding  it.

A  Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the  absolute 
truth of this history that it will be forwarded  immediately to other  true 
believers and to more liberals just to piss them  off.B 

And there you have it. Let your next action reveal  your true  self.....I'm 
going to have another   beer