Have a Dog And No Wife:

     
1. The later you are,
the more excited your dogs are to see you.

     
2. Dogs don't notice if
you call them by another dog's name.

     
3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot
of things on the floor.

     
4. A dog's parents never
visit.

     
5. Dogs agree that you
have to raise your voice to get your point across.

     
6. Dogs find you amusing
when you're drunk.

     
7. Dogs like to go hunting and
fishing.

     
8. A dog will not wake
you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another
dog?"

     
9. If a dog has babies,
you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

     
10. A dog will let you
put a studded collar on it without calling you a
pervert.

     
11. If a dog smells
another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's
interesting.

And last... but not least:

12. If a dog leaves, it
                                                                           won't take half of your stuff.

     

...To test this
theory...
...Lock your wife and your dog
in the garage for an hour...
...Then open it and see who's
happy to see you...