On a Maine shop:
          "Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and   
           workmanship.

In the window of a Kentucky appliance store:
          "Don't kill your wife.  Let our washing machines do the dirty work."

On a window of a New Hampshire burger restaurant:
          "Yes, we are open.  Sorry for the inconvenience."

In a clothing store:
          "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks."

In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store:
          "15 men's wool suits - $10.00 - They won't last an hour!"

On an Indiana shopping mall marquee:
          "Archery tournament.  Ears pierced."

Outside a country shop:
          "We buy junk and sell antiques."

On a North Carolina highway:
          "EAT"
          "300 FEET"

In the window of an Oregon general store:
          "Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?"

In a Massachusettes parking area reserved for birdwatchers:
          "Parking for birds only."

In front of a New Hampshire store:
          "Endurable floors."

On a radiator repair garage:
          "Best place too take a leak."

In a Pennsylvania cemetery:
         "Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own
           graves."

On a roller coaster:
          "Watch your head."

On the grounds of a private school:
          "No trespassing without permission."

In a library:
          "Blotter paper will no longer be available until the public stops
           taking it away.

On a Tennessee highway:
           "Take Notice:  When this sign is under water the road is impasable."

Similarily in a New Hampshire car wash:
          "If you can't read this, it's time to wash your car.