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Petticoat Junction

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"Come ride a little train as it's rollin' down the tracks to the Junction--  Petticoat Junction"
Homer Bedloe: Hey, this place got a telephone? 
Uncle Joe: You betcha it does, only telephone between Hooterville and Pixley.  I was the one that got it and put it in– 
Homer Bedloe: Never mind that.  Where is it? 
Uncle Joe: Say Mister, I'd like to tell you a story about that telephone– 
Homer Bedloe: Just tell me where it is! 
Uncle Joe: Go through that door and it's on your wall to the right.
Homer Bedloe: [Inserts a coin in the phone] Hello Operator?  Hello?  Hello? Operator! Operator! 
Uncle Joe: Whatcha tryin' to do Mister? 
Homer Bedloe: What's it look like I'm trying to do?  I'm trying to get the operator. 

Uncle Joe: You ain't gonna get her on that phone. 
Homer Bedloe: Why not? 
Uncle Joe: Ain't connected 
Homer Bedloe: What do you mean? 
Uncle Joe: Ain't no telephone wires to connect it to. 
Homer Bedloe: What's it doin' here then? 
Uncle Joe: Gives the hotel class.  That's the only telephone between Hooterville and Pixley. 
Homer Bedloe: Why didn't you tell me that outside? 
Uncle Joe: Well I did start, but you cut me off– 
Homer Bedloe: Never mind that now.  Where can I wash my hands? 
Uncle Joe: Second floor.
[Homer steps into the elevator] 
Myna bird:  Second floor, going up.  Step back, step back in the car please" 
[Homer follows the bird's instructions.] 
Uncle Joe: Whatcha doin' in there mister? 
Homer Bedloe: I'm going up to the second floor. 
Uncle Joe: Not in that elevator you ain't. 
Homer Bedloe: What do you mean? 
Uncle Joe: Ain't connected. 
Homer Bedloe: Oh my acing ulcer. 
Myna bird: Going up, going up. 
Uncle Joe: She's a myna bird. Only myna bird between Hooterville and Pixley. 
Homer Bedloe: Answer me a question.  What have you got an elevator for that doesn't run? 
Uncle Joe: Gives the hotel class.  That's the only elevator-- 
Homer Bedloe: Oh shut up. 
Uncle Joe: Don't worry ‘bout the washroom it's connected.


Download the famous theme song by Curt Massey in .MP3 format. (866 kB)

Entry #87

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