Uncle Joe: You ain't gonna get her on that phone. 
Homer Bedloe: Why not? 
Uncle Joe: Ain't connected 
Homer Bedloe: What do you mean? 
Uncle Joe: Ain't no telephone wires to connect it to. 
Homer Bedloe: What's it doin' here then? 
Uncle Joe: Gives the hotel class.  That's the only telephone between Hooterville and Pixley. 
Homer Bedloe: Why didn't you tell me that outside? 
Uncle Joe: Well I did start, but you cut me off– 
Homer Bedloe: Never mind that now.  Where can I wash my hands? 
Uncle Joe: Second floor.
[Homer steps into the elevator] 
Myna bird:  Second floor, going up.  Step back, step back in the car please" 
[Homer follows the bird's instructions.] 
Uncle Joe: Whatcha doin' in there mister? 
Homer Bedloe: I'm going up to the second floor. 
Uncle Joe: Not in that elevator you ain't. 
Homer Bedloe: What do you mean? 
Uncle Joe: Ain't connected. 
Homer Bedloe: Oh my acing ulcer. 
Myna bird: Going up, going up. 
Uncle Joe: She's a myna bird. Only myna bird between Hooterville and Pixley. 
Homer Bedloe: Answer me a question.  What have you got an elevator for that doesn't run? 
Uncle Joe: Gives the hotel class.  That's the only elevator-- 
Homer Bedloe: Oh shut up. 
Uncle Joe: Don't worry ‘bout the washroom it's connected.

Download the famous theme song by Curt Massey in .MP3 format. (866 kB)