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That's Not The Funky Chicken...That's My Mom!


I get a call from my sister a couple of days ago.

"Do you think you can handle mom for another week?"


What day are we on now? LoL. She's been here since the 4th. We're hitting the 2 week mark today. It was supposed to be her return date and boy,was I looking forward to that!

No such luck.

Since my sis works for an airline,mom flies free but it has to be on standby. And since this week was kind of a "holiday week" with president's day and all, the flights are a little jam-packed. The earliest we can get her out will be this coming Saturday. (Gulp!)

I have never spent this much time with my mother since...geese. Probably since I was a baby!

Well..she's always been high strung. My grandmother (her mother) told me that when I was a teenager.

"When your mother used to come home from school and tell us about her day your grandpa used to tell her to take it easy and calm down."

She's a different sort of "drama" queen. She gets so excited over...well,nothing really. The problem is she doesn't have enough drama in her own life...so I suppose everyone else's seems so dang exciting even when it's not.

And as she's gotten older her movements and the way she talks (or "bursts" as I call it) are getting even more exaggerated.

She startles me when trying to make a point or just any old thing she feels needs emphasis.

She'll slam her fist into her palm. SMACK!

A big smack too. And over what?

Oh,probably because they changed the time her favorite program comes on or because the neighbor put his garbage out early. 

Mom always rides in the backseat whenever we go anywhere. That is a MUST. She's very dangerous and distracting in the front seat. Think I mentioned this before in my very first blog how cars always seem closer to her then they really are. 

"Whoa!" or "Watch it..Watch it!" she's always saying while gripping the handle or dashboard.

But now even the backseat is getting dangerous. What's left...the trunk? LoL.

If she starts talking...(well,not IF but WHEN) all of sudden I'll feel these claws grabbing the tops of my shoulders. As if I can't hear her she'll then do the "lean-in" between the seats to make sure I can hear her. 

My mom watches way too much television. I know this because when I call her at her own house she is full of news about all sorts of people...T.V. characters!

"Did you watch this? Did you watch that?" I'm constantly getting grilled.

"No,mom. No,mom."

Since my mother retired she thinks everyone else did too and they have nothing better to do then veg out watching the tube.

I know she's got an exercise bike but am wondering if it's really being used or is now a decorative clothes hanger.

During this trip I've been trying to get her out and walking more. One day when it was raining I put in an exercise DVD. One of those by Leslie Sansone who does all the "indoor walking" tapes. They are simple marching steps and different movements at a certain pace that add up to walking a mile (or miles). Thought we would start with just one mile.

I decided to do it with her to give her more encouragement.

We start with the warm-up. Just a  r e a l l y  light gentle marching.

I look over at my mother.

She's stamping up and down and got her arms pumping like she's out to run a marathon.

"Slow down." I say. "You have to save your energy...we just started!"

Next comes side steps. Step twice to the left...step twice to the right. Back and forth a few times.

STAMP...STAMP...STOMP...STOMP, I hear next to me.

Then we add some arm movements. 

Reach your arms out and bring them back in.

Mom's arms are going up and down and this way and that. They're all over the place.

My mother had turned into the "The Funky Chicken".

Twenty minutes later we made it through a whole mile.

I got more tired watching her then if I had gone ahead and done my regular 5 mile tape!

Deep breath,lottolaughs.

You're almost there.

And guess what?

This year's extra special.

Mom's planning on 2 visits.

In August you get to do it all over again :)

Buck! Buck! Bucker Up,Buckeroo!!  

Entry #85


MADDOG10Comment by MADDOG10 - February 18, 2014, 10:34 am
Cherish each and every moment with your mother. No matter how ridicules or mind boggling, or dramatic it is, even when they cramp your style. Only memories last forever.
Just think of exotic places and you'll soon be smiling...
Jani NormanComment by Jani Norman - February 18, 2014, 3:06 pm
You are missing your calling, this should be in a book, this is so good to read...you leave us wanting more.Bless her little heart.You gotta love her.
Comment by lottolaughs - February 18, 2014, 4:35 pm
Thanks everyone :) I've got more stories coming,lol. It may wind up being longer then a book...more like an entire set of encyclopedias! LOL

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