And now for my next unbelievable action as Democrat Attorney General:

FREE CELL PHONES AND BUS PASSES FOR CONVICTED CRIMINALS!

This way, when I finally get them the right to vote (without ID, of course), I'll be able to wake them up so they can get a free ride to the polls to vote for Democrats so they can continue their life on the couch getting free rent, free food, free transportation, free phone minutes and free spending money.

Cuz hey, criminals work hard and risk their lives in their line of work. They have just as much right to the finer things in life as the rest of us, right? And the best part? They all vote Democrat! YAY!