Kitten, seems to me like you need a new circle of friends.....bg/88s

you might be right bob.

and they never have any money

Two scenarios of this come to mind ......

(1) Damsel in Distress ... come FIX IT FOR ME so I can continue with life as usual, learning nothing and waiting for someone else to rescue me when you get tired of doing it FOR me because I'm so helpless....

(2) Hero ... deliberately creating a real life crisis situation so I serve my own interests by being the great hero who fixes the fiasco ... so I can feel great about myself.

They continue to repeat the above ad infinitum because they're not about learning and will suck you flat if you remain around them. A total waste of time and energy, period.

I would completely agree with your description, except if someone asks for support, that person isn't self-absorbed. A drainer to me is someone who complains all the time just to listen to his voice, but won't ask for help. Maybe someone who is needy is lonely and the peace you've been blessed with is a gift ready to be shared. Remember, you can't enjoy something to its fullest until you give it away. Have you ever gone outside on a windy evening? Sometimes if you listen to the wind, it howls for a while and suddenly everything is quiet and peaceful. You had surrounded yourself with its fury but it made you smile. Somehow you found the calm in all its unrest. Sometimes people talk too much because they were brought up in deafness where nobody every stopped to listen, so they just stay invisible and keep blowing endlessly in the wind.

I don't know that I feel the life being sucked out of me during the conversation, but I sure feel my blood pressure going up 20 points with every such call from the same person.