Actual Travel Agent Stories
From a former Washington, D.C. travel agent of over 30 years
* A New Hampshire Congresswoman called to ask for an aisle
seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near
* A Candidate's Staffer called, wanting to go to Capetown. I
started to explain the length of the flight and the passport
information then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to
make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts."
Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calm-
ly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts. Capetown is in
Africa." Her response? Click.
* A Senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a
Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the
vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean view
room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando
is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me.
I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state!"
* A Lawmaker's wife asked, "Is it possible to see England
from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so
close on the map."
* A Bush cabinet member's aide called and asked if they
could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation,
I noticed they had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I
asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard
Dallas was a big airport, and we want the car so we can drive
between gates to save time."
* An Illinois Congresswoman wanted to know how it was
possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got
into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was
an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the
concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went
very fast. She bought it!
* A New York lawmaker asked, "Do airlines put your physical
description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs
to whom?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well,
when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my
luggage that said "FAT." I'm overweight and I think that's
very rude!" After putting her on hold so I could "look into
it" (I was actually laughing), I came back to her and
explained the city code for Fresno, CA is "FAT," and that
the label was only a destination tag.
* A Senator's aide inquired about a trip package to Hawaii.
After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be
cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to
* A freshman Congressman called from the airport to ask,
"How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what
exactly did he mean. He replied, "You told me my flight
number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on
* A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-
Cola, FL. Do I have to get on one of those little computer
planes?" I asked her if she meant "fly to Pensacola, FL on
a commuter plane"? She said, "Yeah, whatever!"
* A senior Senator had a question about the documents he
needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion
about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh, no I
don't. I've been to China many times and never had one." I
double-checked and, sure enough, his stay required a visa.
When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four
times. Every time they've accepted my American Express!"
* A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations. "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." The agent was
at a loss for words. Finally, the agent: "Are you sure that's
the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" she
replied. After some searching, the agent came back with,
"I'm sorry, ma'am. I've looked up every airport code in the
country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted,
"Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your
map!" The agent pulled out a map of New York state and
finally asked, "You don't mean 'Buffalo,' do you?" "That's
it! I knew it was a big animal!"
* I had someone who wanted to stay at the Bob Newhart Inn in Connecticut. When I explained that the inn was fictional,
the customer became very irate and insisted, "I know it is
real, I see people check in every week!"