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Lottery joke =)

Topic closed. 9 replies. Last post 11 years ago by JAG331.

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Maverick's avatar - yinyang
USA
United States
Member #8242
October 29, 2004
1133 Posts
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Posted: October 1, 2005, 7:42 pm - IP Logged
Leaving!


  I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.
 These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
 Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked  your
favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game.
 You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or any thing.  Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.

 P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
 
Your EX-Wife

 Dear Ex-Wife
 Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work
 it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter
that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

 P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother
was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

 Signed Rich As Hell and Free!

To Lotteries: Stop recording our # combinations, and figure out another way to rollover the $$$.

    emilyg's avatar - cat anm.gif

    United States
    Member #14
    November 9, 2001
    31537 Posts
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    Posted: October 1, 2005, 7:50 pm - IP Logged

     

                                                              ROFL

    love to nibble those micey feet.

     

                                 

      Avatar

      United States
      Member #4646
      May 12, 2004
      1185 Posts
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      Posted: October 1, 2005, 8:28 pm - IP Logged

      Thanks for the laugh!!!!

        Tenaj's avatar - michellea
        Charlotte NC
        United States
        Member #17406
        June 18, 2005
        4054 Posts
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        Posted: October 1, 2005, 8:32 pm - IP Logged

        LOL

        takeemtothebank

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          United States
          Member #119
          February 19, 2002
          527 Posts
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          Posted: October 1, 2005, 9:38 pm - IP Logged

          Until you are divorced, half of what you win is your spouse's.  Did you know that?

          :-)

            Avatar
            New Mexico
            United States
            Member #12305
            March 10, 2005
            2984 Posts
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            Posted: October 1, 2005, 10:09 pm - IP Logged

            Good laugh.  Thanks.

            Jack

            Absorb the good, ignore the bad, weigh the ugly.

            It's about number behavior.

            Egos don't count.

             

            Dedicated to the memory of Big Loooser

             

              iam713's avatar - techno eye.jpg
              Jonesboro,Ga
              United States
              Member #21753
              September 14, 2005
              71 Posts
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              Posted: October 1, 2005, 11:25 pm - IP Logged

              ROFL That is so funny!!!!!!

              "Where your heart is, so shall it be"Lovies

                Litebets27's avatar - power
                Maryland
                United States
                Member #10465
                January 14, 2005
                6065 Posts
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                Posted: October 1, 2005, 11:43 pm - IP Logged

                Green laugh Good one!!!!

                litebets

                  Maverick's avatar - yinyang
                  USA
                  United States
                  Member #8242
                  October 29, 2004
                  1133 Posts
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                  Posted: October 2, 2005, 5:43 pm - IP Logged

                  Until you are divorced, half of what you win is your spouse's.  Did you know that?

                  :-)

                  Sometimes "jokes" dont always exude the truth.

                  Technically, it depends on what state laws you have. If the court says yes to alimony, adultery which is marital misconduct can lower the award, so half it won't be. In Georgia, no alimony is awarded to a spouse who has been proven to have committed adultery. One case in North Carolina, in 1995, adultery automatically barred a dependent spouse from receiving alimony.

                  Did you know that? Lep

                  To Lotteries: Stop recording our # combinations, and figure out another way to rollover the $$$.

                    Avatar
                    Greenwich, CT
                    United States
                    Member #4793
                    May 24, 2004
                    1822 Posts
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                    Posted: October 3, 2005, 2:24 pm - IP Logged

                    Hehehe