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"Winning Plays A Game With Your Head"

Topic closed. 12 replies. Last post 11 years ago by delS.

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md
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April 20, 2005
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Posted: May 16, 2006, 8:52 am - IP Logged

This is a partial story found at bankrate.com.  For the full story click on the link

http://www.bankrate.com/brm/news/advice/20041108a3.asp

Winning plays a game with your head
Bradley, who wrote "Sudden Money: Managing a Financial Windfall," says winners get into trouble because they fail to address the emotional connection to the windfall.

"There are two sides to money," she says. "The interior side is the psychology of money and the family relationship to money. The exterior side is the tax codes, the money allocation, etc. The goal is to integrate the two. People who can't integrate their interior relationship with money appropriately are more likely to crash and burn.

"Often, they can keep the money and lose family and friends, or lose the money and keep the family and friends -- or even lose the money and lose the family and friends."

Bill Pomeroy, a certified financial planner in Baton Rouge, La., has dealt with a number of lottery winners who went broke.

"Because the winners have a large sum of money, they make the mistake of thinking they know what they're doing. They are willing to plunk down large sums on investments they know nothing about or go in with a partner who may not know how to run a business."

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    Maryland
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    Posted: May 16, 2006, 10:37 am - IP Logged

    The problem with most winners who go broke is that they feel millions and millions means endless goobs of money. That is so far from the truth. they start spend immediately from their principal and before you know it, they can barely make ends meet.

    On the issue of family and money....you have got to drawn a hard line. If what you are able to give them on a regular basis is not sufficient for them...then too bad. They do have the choice to disown you. If they threaten to do so, then tell them to go ahead...it simply means you will be able to keep the money you had been giving them...and better yet you may be able to help some stranger who will truly appreciate it.

    The ideal thing would be for them not to know you are a muliti-millionair and so when you give them something they won't be like...."Ughh is this all you can give me?" Friends and family who are not genuine will try the guilt trip approach on you. When you see it....see it for what it is....don't fall for it. It they throw a temper tantrum...TOO BAD!...the sun will shine tomorrow.No No

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      md
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      Posted: May 16, 2006, 10:41 am - IP Logged

      hahahahahahah.  Shane3, I agree with you on the family piece.  I'm there.  In my dreams come true document, I have a set amount for a Friends and Family Account.  There are strict procedures I'll follow in that money being distributed.  If they can't live with what I gift them, too hell with them.  I would do every thing in my power to make any jackpot win to increase, not just consume it all and go broke. 

        Raven62's avatar - binary
        New Jersey
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        June 28, 2005
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        Posted: May 16, 2006, 11:14 am - IP Logged

        It's the "Rush" you feel from suddenly being so wealthy that you can virtually do anything your wildest imagination can conceive. Coffee

          alexiega's avatar - fetish chick.png
          atlanta
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          Posted: May 16, 2006, 9:39 pm - IP Logged

          I've been "getting by" for so long I'd probably be afraid to spend the money for fear of returning to my old "getting by" status!!!!  Confused

          Let's Get PAID in $ GA $ !!

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            Baton Rouge, LA
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            Posted: May 18, 2006, 12:50 pm - IP Logged

            I've been "getting by" for so long I'd probably be afraid to spend the money for fear of returning to my old "getting by" status!!!!  Confused

            I feel the same way. Once I got myself situated, i.e. paid for house, car, etc., I'd probably live modestly for the most part. I wouldn't buy a super elaborate house or a fancy car, but would buy something I like. If I buy something nice, I wouldn't show it off to others. Alot of people have that need, but I don't.

            A nice entertainment center in my home, nice hobby room for the ham radio and computers, and a bathroom with a jacuzzi tub would be very nice additions indeed, but most people probably wouldn't know I had them, since they aren't out in the open and can only be seen by someone who comes into the house.

            I've talked about this before and I'll mention it again; I'd probably move to an area with a lower cost of living and a better tax system so I could keep more of it, and I'd be somewhere nobody knows me so there won't be people trying to get money from me.

            There are alot of stories of people who blow all the money and end up worse of than they were before while at the same time, there are many stories of people who have won and actually improved their lives and are happy. The latter are the ones I would use as examples of what to do after winning.

            PrisonerSix

              bellyache's avatar - 64x64a9wg

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              Posted: May 29, 2006, 12:04 am - IP Logged

              I think the number of people who have won and have improved their lives outnumbers the ones who have messed up. In my opinion, the media would rather report about lottery winners stories of those who have lost everything and are down in the dumps, then lottery winners who are living happily and carefree.

                justxploring's avatar - villiarna
                Wandering Aimlessly
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                Posted: May 29, 2006, 1:51 am - IP Logged

                I've been "getting by" for so long I'd probably be afraid to spend the money for fear of returning to my old "getting by" status!!!!  Confused

                I Agree!  I'd be very careful and buy a modest home and a sensible car. Like Prisoner6, I would probably move away from this area which is very overpriced. One reason is as you stated above. I'd never want to go back to waiting for my paycheck and carefully budgeting. The other is because I've blown money in the past. It was partly because I like going on trips, but mostly from being stupid and investing in the wrong choices.  Also, you can get very depressed and fall into a slump that eats up your savings. I don't think there's anything wrong with having fun, taking some nice vacations every year and going out to dinner and a show once in a while. In fact, I'd like to go to New York for a week to see a few Broadway shows.  I did a lot of traveling years ago and I enjoyed the old fashioned Bed & Breakfasts more than the fancy hotels anyway, but money gives you choices.  I know I always dream about using the money to buy a farm and start a no-kill shelter or adopt a few older children, but I'm not a strong person, so I might just live a simple life and continue to work for health benefits and to contribute to social security, at least until I'm 65 or 66.  I'd do something I enjoy that doesn't create a lot of stress. Maybe I'd start my own small business, like a small gift shop.  I guess it would depend on the size of the jackpot, but nothing in life is guaranteed and it would just be one more step in securing my future. I could always donate my extra income to charity.

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                  New Mexico
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                  Posted: May 29, 2006, 9:35 am - IP Logged

                  Interesting thread.

                  People who haven't won lotteries, so they don't have to worry about going broke, jumping over the hurdle of not having won to worry about losing it all after they've won.

                  Sort of cutting out the middle man and getting down to the meat of things.

                  Jack

                  Absorb the good, ignore the bad, weigh the ugly.

                  It's about number behavior.

                  Egos don't count.

                   

                  Dedicated to the memory of Big Loooser

                   

                    sfilippo's avatar - skull
                    Oklahoma
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                    Posted: May 29, 2006, 10:05 am - IP Logged

                    I find it interesting that people around you calibrate their money problems according to YOUR cash balance.

                    If I have, say, $1,000 and my 'friend' knows about it, then he or she seems to have a $100 problem that they need me to help them with.

                    If I have, say, $100,000 and my 'friend' knows about it, then he or she seems to have a $5,000 problem that they need me to help them with.

                    It's weird!

                     

                    Smiley Steve

                      bellyache's avatar - 64x64a9wg

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                      Posted: May 29, 2006, 2:03 pm - IP Logged

                      it depends on how big the jackpot is. if you only win say $12 million in mega millions thats not that much money in the lottery world and essecially for mega millions.  i would just set some money aside like $10 million give or take, so then if i did start to get into money trouble i would take the $10 million i set aside and disappear.

                      Well if you won $12 million you wouldn't have $10 million to put aside. You would have less then $10 million after taxes were taken out.

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                        Baton Rouge, LA
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                        Posted: May 30, 2006, 9:02 pm - IP Logged

                        I've been "getting by" for so long I'd probably be afraid to spend the money for fear of returning to my old "getting by" status!!!!  Confused

                        I Agree!  I'd be very careful and buy a modest home and a sensible car. Like Prisoner6, I would probably move away from this area which is very overpriced. One reason is as you stated above. I'd never want to go back to waiting for my paycheck and carefully budgeting. The other is because I've blown money in the past. It was partly because I like going on trips, but mostly from being stupid and investing in the wrong choices.  Also, you can get very depressed and fall into a slump that eats up your savings. I don't think there's anything wrong with having fun, taking some nice vacations every year and going out to dinner and a show once in a while. In fact, I'd like to go to New York for a week to see a few Broadway shows.  I did a lot of traveling years ago and I enjoyed the old fashioned Bed & Breakfasts more than the fancy hotels anyway, but money gives you choices.  I know I always dream about using the money to buy a farm and start a no-kill shelter or adopt a few older children, but I'm not a strong person, so I might just live a simple life and continue to work for health benefits and to contribute to social security, at least until I'm 65 or 66.  I'd do something I enjoy that doesn't create a lot of stress. Maybe I'd start my own small business, like a small gift shop.  I guess it would depend on the size of the jackpot, but nothing in life is guaranteed and it would just be one more step in securing my future. I could always donate my extra income to charity.

                        My area isn't really overpriced, but housing prices have gone up and available housing has shrunk since Hurricane Katrina brought many New Orleans residents who lost their homes into the area. My main reason for moving away is to get away from people who know me, so they won't ask for money. To be honest, I don't know if I'll give anyone money but one thing for certain is if any individual or organization asks me for money, they can forget about getting any, EVER.

                        I've often talked about my plan for if I do win a big enough jackpot to be able to quit my job and live independently. I plan to use an anonymous method of claiming the prize, such as a trust or corporation, and have my attorney do it for me. Another part is to plan with investments, paying out bills, etc. I also plan to not quit my job for several months until after the excitement of a locally sold ticket winning dies down, to avert suspicion. It'll also give me time to decide where I want to move to, to get away and start fresh.

                        Other things to do include not having a listed phone number, not getting any mail at my house, using a P.O. Box or maildrop to get mail, possibly even going as far as not having my property or utilities in my own name, to reduce the chance of being tracked down. Sometimes you just can't be too careful.

                        PrisonerSix

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                          md
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                          Posted: May 30, 2006, 9:12 pm - IP Logged

                          Some very good points to ponder, particularly getting utilities in other than your own name!  Good points.