James, my friend, and I go to the beach. It's a beach on a regular looking street,the street is nothing but dirt road. I am driving on the right side the gas is the left pedal and the slow is the right (how it should be). We play pool in this place and FIVE of our balls are missing. This homeless guy was sitting a ways from us was sleeping and I scream, "that guy has our balls!" The guy wakes up and turns into a homeless woman. I hold her down and get our balls out of her pants, that works. James is like,"I'm not using those nasty balls and he gets a cloth to put the balls in the bar's dirty clothes hamper. I take them out and hand wash them in the bathroom. When we play the homeless woman thinks we're friends and will not stop talking to me. James blames me because I talked back. She went on and on about how nice her house was and how her friend was jealous because her family was happier because her family had nice furniture. James ignored her and I lost the game. I decide to goto the store and the woman is standing on the right hand side of the vehicle (the driver's side) and talks to me with my window down. She precedes to try to open my car door and when that doesn't succeed attempts to unlock the door. I forget left is go and don't bolt off immediately but then I fly down the street. I can still hear her screaming.
But I have more stuff than you! My life is way better than yours! Please don't leave, I'm good, I'm a good person, I can prove it!