|Posted: July 11, 2011, 10:52 am - IP Logged|
BACKSTORY: I worked as a vet for many years until my body and mind couldn't handle it anymore. I got a job as a biology teacher then promptly lost it to proration. My salary runs out next month, and between saving and paying off what I can, my lottery playing days are coming to a close very soon. I have been desperately seeking another job that I can pay my student loans (also engender no more) and one that my physical limitations will allow. Oh yeah, and I can't leave my home town, since my elderly mother is very dependent on me and would have to go into a nursing home. I have been having this haunting thought that I may have to go back to the horrors of practice, which is probably where my dream came from. The very idea of being a vet again makes me want to go play hopscotch in the center lane of the freeway. I will go into bankruptcy before I will face that life again.
My sleep is so fitful after being on call for those years that I cannot have any phone, beeping, etc. wake me up or I will jump violently out of the bed, start dressing and get in my car before I am fully awake. I turned off all the phones and then lay down for a nap the day before yesterday and had a bad experience.
All I did is dream that my phone was ringing and I had to answer it because I was on call. The problem was when I jumped out of bed THIS time, my left foot was tangled in the sheets and I went down hard on my right knee and arm. I didn't break anything, though not for lack of trying. I have spent the last two days in tears from the physical pain and anxiety that the episode triggered.
Y'all got anything for me?? I only play MM and PB, since I live so far away I don't do P4 or P3. I don't care if you give me numbers, prayers, or flame me. I'm so freakin' desperate it doesn't matter.