Keep your chin up, Lucy! All is never lost unless you allow it to be.
First, let this experience be a life lesson for you. Never, ever put all your hopes and dreams on something as subject to chance as winning a lottery jackpot. It is just not wise or emotionally healthy. Instead of dwelling on a jackpot that you lost, focus on the blessings that you already have such as your health, your family and close friends. Money is nice but it is not everything. Im sure there are many people who would gladly trade $650 million to have a lost loved one back or to be cured of a debilitating disease.
The lottery seems to be bringing you nothing but stress and depression currently, so maybe take a break from playing for a few months at least. Instead focus your time and energy on constructive things YOU can do to help better your current situation--cutting unnecessary expenses from your monthly budget, getting a second job, selling your car and using public transportation, or taking on a roommate to help out. Although life may seem hopeless, there are usually options open if you just look hard enough. Once you are able to get back on your feet again, you can then play the lottery as it was meant to be played--as a form of entertainment.
You seem like a sweet person, Lucy. I know you will make it past this hurdle. Sending love and prayers your way.