Gloria & Cynthia Got Me Thinking - What Really Happens When Non-Married Relatives WinPrev Topic Next Topic

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Teddi

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Jun 22, 2013, 2:55 pm

Between Cynthia Stafford (her father and brother) and Gloria (plus Scott), a thought occurred.

When you go into a lottery halvies situation playing with ONE other close family member (e.g. a sibling) what happens when the ticket wins.

Say there is a family with 5 siblings, those siblings have children and perhaps grandchildren. If 2 of those siblings run into a store and decide to buy some tickets, and agree to split the JP equally if they win, how do they share out the money to the other 3 siblings, nieces and nephews?

For Scott & Gloria, is there like an Emily Post etiquette rule of how much money to give a sibling as opposed to a child (in other words, is it expected that Gloria would give more to her children than Scott should give to his siblings) and is there an expectation that the octogenarian give more because her time is (conceivably) less?

Who wants to have Faith Stafford-like sibling putting the kibosh on your feel good moment?

I'm pretty sure if one relative is seen as more generous than the other, that's just additional issues in the family dynamic.

Because if one person winning a JP can cause issues within a family, I'm just wondering how it works (and how bad it gets) when TWO close, non-married relatives win. And how does the divvying up among relatives work when one winner is MUCH older than the other?
HoLeeKau

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Jun 22, 2013, 4:18 pm

Part of it would depend on whether the other kids knew about the agreement ahead of time, and if they were offered a place in the pool. If they declined a spot, if I won as much as Gloria/Scott did, if I was mom, I might set up a trust to give each one 25K per year. The rest would have to wait till I died. If I was Scott I doubt I'd give them anything. The siblings turned down contributing to the pool so it's their own fault.

If they weren't offered a piece of the action before the win, I think I'd feel a little guilty and give them more if I was the mother -- 50K or 100K per year through a trust. If I was the brother, maybe not. He has his own to take care of. Maybe me as Scott would give siblings 10K per year, but only if mom wasn't going to do anything for them.

A cute blond girl won like 80 million here in Idaho 15 or 20 years ago. I saw her on Oprah saying she gave her brother a (very modest) home and a truck. He kept coming back for more money, and she finally had to cut him off. She said that he understood and they were still on good terms. Oprah said the same thing happened with her relatives -- she'd give them 100K and they'd want more.

That's why if I did give them something, it would be thru a trust. That way they'd understand that's what they're getting, and that's it period. When it's gone it's gone. Sorry.
Teddi

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Jun 22, 2013, 4:57 pm

Quote: Originally posted by HoLeeKau on Jun 22, 2013
Part of it would depend on whether the other kids knew about the agreement ahead of time, and if they were offered a place in the pool. If they declined a spot, if I won as much as Gloria/Scott did, if I was mom, I might set up a trust to give each one 25K per year. The rest would have to wait till I died. If I was Scott I doubt I'd give them anything. The siblings turned down contributing to the pool so it's their own fault.

If they weren't offered a piece of the action before the win, I think I'd feel a little guilty and give them more if I was the mother -- 50K or 100K per year through a trust. If I was the brother, maybe not. He has his own to take care of. Maybe me as Scott would give siblings 10K per year, but only if mom wasn't going to do anything for them.

A cute blond girl won like 80 million here in Idaho 15 or 20 years ago. I saw her on Oprah saying she gave her brother a (very modest) home and a truck. He kept coming back for more money, and she finally had to cut him off. She said that he understood and they were still on good terms. Oprah said the same thing happened with her relatives -- she'd give them 100K and they'd want more.

That's why if I did give them something, it would be thru a trust. That way they'd understand that's what they're getting, and that's it period. When it's gone it's gone. Sorry.

I hear you. I was thinking I would tell them they all get all their outstanding bills paid off (car, house, medical, school loans, credit cards), a new car if they want, college funds for their kids, plus a non-taxable $14,000/year for as long asI live. No business ventures, no loans.

I'm guessing that parents would have less of an issue giving large sums to their children, than siblings would have giving to each other. But if it were 2 out of 5 siblings that won, it seems like it would open up a whole can of worms. Especially if one has dependents and the other doesn't.

As for the "I'll leave you something in my will" NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Between my mother and Dateline that's something I would never tell them. My mother always told me, never tell anyone you're leaving them anything in your will. Not your kids, not your brothers/sisters, not even your pastor. No one! Instead, tell everyone you're giving away all your money to charities when you die. That way they won't be tempted to kill you.

One weekend of the I.D. channel and I TOTALLY agree Jeff Post's own brother hired a hitman. Nuh uh. Not happening.
noise-gate

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Jun 22, 2013, 5:11 pm

Since Gloria and her Son hold the keys to the kingdom... so to speak, they can divvy up their money anyway they deem fit. l would imagine that Gloria would pass on the lion's share to her other kids ( if she has any) & grand kids. Scott may have kids or not- but either way everyone will come out smelling like roses.

The only problem l foresee is if one or more of the " kids" squandered their share of the money and would want more from their siblings. You can rest assured- silly lawsuits will come into play.Lets hope not.

l know absolutely nothing on Ms Stafford apart from hearing that she won a sizable amount while sitting next to the one any only " Dick Lutsick" or something on the " Morning Show" .
Teddi

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Jun 22, 2013, 5:29 pm

Quote: Originally posted by noise-gate on Jun 22, 2013
Since Gloria and her Son hold the keys to the kingdom... so to speak, they can divvy up their money anyway they deem fit. l would imagine that Gloria would pass on the lion's share to her other kids ( if she has any) & grand kids. Scott may have kids or not- but either way everyone will come out smelling like roses.

The only problem l foresee is if one or more of the " kids" squandered their share of the money and would want more from their siblings. You can rest assured- silly lawsuits will come into play.Lets hope not.

l know absolutely nothing on Ms Stafford apart from hearing that she won a sizable amount while sitting next to the one any only " Dick Lutsick" or something on the " Morning Show" .

Cynthia won $112M which she split with her brother and father. Her sister, Faith, got nothing and isn't happy about it. She's being unhappy about it...publicly.

Faith's situation is different as even she admits to having "a problem". But I was thinking, what happens when a sibling opts to split with one and not another. Or if one winning sibling expects the other winning sibling to provide more to a relative because of circumstances.

If I won with my grandmother for example, she'd probably donate most of it to her church and everyone with a sob story(I've yet to see her ever say no to a stranger in need), which would mean I'd be left taking care of everyone else and being the bitch saying no more. LOL. I'd be Oprah.

IDK, it's no big deal, just things that had me wondering how would you avoid family discord in certain situations.

I too would prefer Cersei Lannister to Tiny Hands. She always pays her debts, hasn't filed 6 bankruptcies and is educated enough to know Nambia isn't a country.
HoLeeKau

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Jun 22, 2013, 5:36 pm

Quote: Originally posted by Teddi on Jun 22, 2013
I hear you. I was thinking I would tell them they all get all their outstanding bills paid off (car, house, medical, school loans, credit cards), a new car if they want, college funds for their kids, plus a non-taxable $14,000/year for as long asI live. No business ventures, no loans.

I'm guessing that parents would have less of an issue giving large sums to their children, than siblings would have giving to each other. But if it were 2 out of 5 siblings that won, it seems like it would open up a whole can of worms. Especially if one has dependents and the other doesn't.

As for the "I'll leave you something in my will" NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Between my mother and Dateline that's something I would never tell them. My mother always told me, never tell anyone you're leaving them anything in your will. Not your kids, not your brothers/sisters, not even your pastor. No one! Instead, tell everyone you're giving away all your money to charities when you die. That way they won't be tempted to kill you.

One weekend of the I.D. channel and I TOTALLY agree Jeff Post's own brother hired a hitman. Nuh uh. Not happening.

I posted this before on LP and got bashed for it. But I have a sister that I would have to make sure knew she wasn't getting anything when I die, or she WOULD kill me. I'd have to send her a copy of my will on a yearly basis, with the part about her getting $1 highlighted.

No matter how well you think you know someone, it's my opinion that you don't really know them till there's a lot of money on the line. So yeah you're right, tell them that what you already put into the trust is their share, and that your money is going to a charity when you die.
Ronnie316

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Jun 22, 2013, 5:43 pm

Quote: Originally posted by HoLeeKau on Jun 22, 2013
I posted this before on LP and got bashed for it. But I have a sister that I would have to make sure knew she wasn't getting anything when I die, or she WOULD kill me. I'd have to send her a copy of my will on a yearly basis, with the part about her getting $1 highlighted.

No matter how well you think you know someone, it's my opinion that you don't really know them till there's a lot of money on the line. So yeah you're right, tell them that what you already put into the trust is their share, and that your money is going to a charity when you die.

Sorry about your luck in sisters. I have one that will never get a dime, regardless if I'm alive or dead.
HoLeeKau

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Jun 22, 2013, 6:19 pm

Quote: Originally posted by Teddi on Jun 22, 2013
Cynthia won $112M which she split with her brother and father. Her sister, Faith, got nothing and isn't happy about it. She's being unhappy about it...publicly.

Faith's situation is different as even she admits to having "a problem". But I was thinking, what happens when a sibling opts to split with one and not another. Or if one winning sibling expects the other winning sibling to provide more to a relative because of circumstances.

If I won with my grandmother for example, she'd probably donate most of it to her church and everyone with a sob story(I've yet to see her ever say no to a stranger in need), which would mean I'd be left taking care of everyone else and being the bitch saying no more. LOL. I'd be Oprah.

IDK, it's no big deal, just things that had me wondering how would you avoid family discord in certain situations.

Sounds like Faith has a drug problem?

I can see denying a relative money if they'll use it to do bodily harm to themselves - drugs, alcohol, etc. Personally, I'd probably give it to them anyway. It's their life, and really, is that any worse than any other dangerous thrill seeking activity? I see news reports of people dying while whitewater rafting, bridge jumping, rock climbing, mountain climbing, etc all the time. I'd encourage the person with drug or alcohol problems to use the money to go to rehab, but I don't think I'd make it a condition of giving them the money. I might change my mind if I loved someone in that situation, tho.

But grandma giving it all to her church brings up another good question. Would you keep money from them if they were going to spend it on something that won't do bodily harm, but that you don't approve of. Say you're a democrat and they will donate it all to republican candidates. Or they will give it to the Church of Scientology or Mormons or another cult. Would you feel right leaving them out just for that reason?
grwurston

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Same #'s. Different games.

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Jun 22, 2013, 9:19 pm

I say let's win the jackpot first and then worry about that later... Personally though, if I won, I would give X amount to each family member with the understanding that this is a one shot deal. What you do with it is your business, but when it's gone, it's gone.

As far as deciding not to give some to a relative who didn't agree with me, on whatever, is being judgmental, perhaps petty on my part. People don't always agree, but I will take care of family.
weshar75

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Jun 22, 2013, 10:11 pm

I play the lotto with my mother and so we will split the jackpot but we decided to help my sister with money from both of our shares. So hopefully she doesn't get greedy because she has never played the lotto. So I am not going to be forking over a lot of money to her.-weshar75
Teddi

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Jun 22, 2013, 10:52 pm

Quote: Originally posted by HoLeeKau on Jun 22, 2013
Sounds like Faith has a drug problem?

I can see denying a relative money if they'll use it to do bodily harm to themselves - drugs, alcohol, etc. Personally, I'd probably give it to them anyway. It's their life, and really, is that any worse than any other dangerous thrill seeking activity? I see news reports of people dying while whitewater rafting, bridge jumping, rock climbing, mountain climbing, etc all the time. I'd encourage the person with drug or alcohol problems to use the money to go to rehab, but I don't think I'd make it a condition of giving them the money. I might change my mind if I loved someone in that situation, tho.

But grandma giving it all to her church brings up another good question. Would you keep money from them if they were going to spend it on something that won't do bodily harm, but that you don't approve of. Say you're a democrat and they will donate it all to republican candidates. Or they will give it to the Church of Scientology or Mormons or another cult. Would you feel right leaving them out just for that reason?

HoLeeKau, no way...again. And I have Jack Whitaker to thank for this one. You give money to a drug addict and that drug addict uses that money to buy drugs and gets someone else killed, you just may get sued.

I'm not sure what Faith's issue is, whether drugs or alcohol or *coughs* gambling. But I do know that unless she's a sociopath, I'd at least have gotten her a little sudio space to live in. She says she's living in section 8 housing. So put her up somewhere instead of allowing her to be a burden on the state.
Teddi

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Jun 22, 2013, 11:08 pm

Quote: Originally posted by HoLeeKau on Jun 22, 2013
I posted this before on LP and got bashed for it. But I have a sister that I would have to make sure knew she wasn't getting anything when I die, or she WOULD kill me. I'd have to send her a copy of my will on a yearly basis, with the part about her getting $1 highlighted.

No matter how well you think you know someone, it's my opinion that you don't really know them till there's a lot of money on the line. So yeah you're right, tell them that what you already put into the trust is their share, and that your money is going to a charity when you die.

I would never bash you for that. I have a brother that won't see a penny from me and a cousin I'd keep my distance from. The cousin one would be really hard, because I like her mother and we get along, but I don't think she knows the sort of person her daughter really is.

It's not always about general disagreements. Sometimes family can be more toxic than strangers, and more dangerous. The whole blood being thicker than water thing doesn't always apply. Oprah was right about that one.

I too would prefer Cersei Lannister to Tiny Hands. She always pays her debts, hasn't filed 6 bankruptcies and is educated enough to know Nambia isn't a country.