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Pretty girl seeking a rich husband got a shocking Investment banker's reply

Topic closed. 16 replies. Last post 3 years ago by sully16.

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March 31, 2012
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Posted: February 20, 2014, 8:10 pm - IP Logged

Not sure if a CEO has the time to reply to such things, but this is surely fun to read!lol
A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:
Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I’m going to be honest of what I’m going to say here. I’m 25 this year. I’m very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I’m greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.

My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?

Among those I’ve dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit.
If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.

I’m here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I’ve met a few girls who don’t have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
Ms. Pretty

A philosophical reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan when you continue!


Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.
My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I’m not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you’re trying to do is an exchange of “beauty" and “money" : Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.
However, there’s a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can’t be prettier year after year.

Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It’s not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a “trading position".
If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or “leased".

Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps.

signed,
J.P. Morgan CEO

 

ROFLROFLROFL

    mikeintexas's avatar - tx avatar-1.gif
    Texas Panhandle
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    Posted: February 20, 2014, 8:22 pm - IP Logged

    "...we would only date you..."

    I believe that's a textbook case of a euphemism.

      Artist77's avatar - batman14

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      Posted: February 20, 2014, 8:26 pm - IP Logged

      "...we would only date you..."

      I believe that's a textbook case of a euphemism.

      lol....beauty fades....intelligence lasts much longer.

      J'aime La France.


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        Posted: February 20, 2014, 8:45 pm - IP Logged

        This was a greatvlaugh this evening.  Think the girl has watched pretty women to much lol..

          maringoman's avatar - images q=tbn:ANd9GcTbRxpKQmOfcCoUqF2FyqIOAwDo7rg9G-lfJLAALPGWJWwiz19eRw
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          Posted: February 20, 2014, 9:19 pm - IP Logged

          Even though there are plenty of gold diggers in NYC, this partiular one has been proven to be fictitious. I think I first saw it back in 2007 in Urban Legends article "Craigslist Gold Digger Meets Her Match"

          That money's gone fo ever


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            Posted: February 20, 2014, 9:44 pm - IP Logged

            I never thought tony was an antoÑia.

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              Posted: February 20, 2014, 9:53 pm - IP Logged

              I never thought tony was an antoÑia.

              Haha NOT!Stooges

                CajunWin4's avatar - Lottery-031.jpg
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                Posted: February 20, 2014, 10:02 pm - IP Logged

                  mikeintexas's avatar - tx avatar-1.gif
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                  Posted: February 21, 2014, 1:10 am - IP Logged

                  Even though there are plenty of gold diggers in NYC, this partiular one has been proven to be fictitious. I think I first saw it back in 2007 in Urban Legends article "Craigslist Gold Digger Meets Her Match"

                  Oh, I don't think it's an urban legend;  I once met this girl in a bar who told me the same story.  We then went back to my hotel room where she drugged my drink and I woke up the next morning in a bathtub full of ice and missing a kidney.

                    maringoman's avatar - images q=tbn:ANd9GcTbRxpKQmOfcCoUqF2FyqIOAwDo7rg9G-lfJLAALPGWJWwiz19eRw
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                    Posted: February 21, 2014, 7:50 am - IP Logged

                    Oh, I don't think it's an urban legend;  I once met this girl in a bar who told me the same story.  We then went back to my hotel room where she drugged my drink and I woke up the next morning in a bathtub full of ice and missing a kidney.

                    That kidney is in the abdomen of some Wallstreet tycoon. Jester they appreciate your generosity

                    That money's gone fo ever

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                      Posted: February 21, 2014, 9:17 am - IP Logged

                      LOL sounds like a Craigslist rants and raves post...those are good for a laugh I recommend you check out your city's craigslist rant and rave section, you cannot say you were not entertained

                        veganlife125's avatar - Lottery-061.jpg

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                        Posted: February 21, 2014, 11:20 am - IP Logged

                        Over the years its been fun to watch these 50-59 year old bald headed pop gutted men going through a midlife crisis. They are driving around in brand new convertible corvette's with a hair sprayed comb over or toupee trying to attract the attention of young women with their money.  They needed that car when they were 25 years old not 55!

                        For women who gold dig just follow Mr. Baldy to the gas station and strike up a conversation.  Chances are once you get him to double dip he will fall in love and marry you!  Oh he's married?  Well he can either divorce his wife and marry you or pay you a one time lump sum "fee' not to call your wife!  Easy Money! ROFL

                         

                        It reminds me of the words of Hugh Hefner: 

                        Interviewer: "you know those young women are only after you because of your money."

                        Hugh: "I don't care why they are after me as long as they are after me!" LOL 

                        Don't forget to visit the Lottery Post Gift Shop!

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                          Posted: February 21, 2014, 11:49 am - IP Logged

                          These are the kind of people who will never know true beauty or riches No Nod

                          "Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip, conflict calms down.

                          Like adding charcoal to embers or wood to fire, quarrelsome people kindle strife."

                          Proverbs 26: 20-21

                            mikeintexas's avatar - tx avatar-1.gif
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                            Posted: February 21, 2014, 1:09 pm - IP Logged

                            That kidney is in the abdomen of some Wallstreet tycoon. Jester they appreciate your generosity

                            Better that than in a pie, I guess.


                            A people that elect corrupt politicians, impostors, thieves and traitors are not victims...but accomplices.
                             - George Orwell

                              Artist77's avatar - batman14

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                              Posted: February 21, 2014, 5:30 pm - IP Logged

                              Let's not forget that "gold diggers" are not just women.  Men can be "gold diggers" as well.  They are kind of easy to spot....they brag/post about their prowess with women, going to the gym, drop a lot of off color and inappropriate sexual comments, and tell women they are nothing and useless without them. Of course this would not apply to 99% of the male LP Coffeemembers.

                              J'aime La France.