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A VERY serious topic.

Topic closed. 41 replies. Last post 1 year ago by Teddi.

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RJOh's avatar - chipmunk
mid-Ohio
United States
Member #9
March 24, 2001
19831 Posts
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Posted: November 13, 2015, 1:14 pm - IP Logged

Fortunately most lottery players will never have to cross that bridge except in their dreams.

 * you don't need to buy more tickets, just buy a winning ticket * 
   
             Evil Looking       

    Avatar
    Kentucky
    United States
    Member #32652
    February 14, 2006
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    Posted: November 13, 2015, 3:37 pm - IP Logged

    Fortunately most lottery players will never have to cross that bridge except in their dreams.

    I Agree!, but I play lottery games for fun.

      garyo1954's avatar - garyo
      Dallas, Texas
      United States
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      May 2, 2004
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      Posted: November 13, 2015, 3:57 pm - IP Logged

      These are serious questions and any lottery player should give them some thought. 

      I would ask you -- why would you want to give people money?  Is it because you enjoy their friendship and want to share, or because they don't pay you enough attention and you are trying to buy love?  I'm not judging here, but I think every person needs to understand how they think/hope these things will work out.

      For me, I would give disabled Dad all the help he needed and ignore the rest of them! Red Devil

      This is something everyone needs to consider beforehand.

      Having sisters who feel the need know everything about your life, up to and including, your diet, how well you're sleeping, and who you are seeing, its kinda hard to keep many secrets; if any at all.

      Having a nephew with the same name complicates matters even more. Its not fun to be awakened in the middle of the night by the phone, let alone by some girl crying in the phone over being dumped by some guy, and you don't know who she is or who just dumped her! On the other hand, it would serve him right having people call him asking for money!

      But if any of the family wanted to know, there is little I could do. One sister is BFF with the ex. So my son visits, his mom asks, he tells, and she passes it to the sister. And once just one sister knows, the whole world knows or finds out on Facebook! Even when they promise they won't tell, they tell!

      So in my case, I'd want to get everyone together, tell them my plan going forward, hear all the objections, and get that out of the way. Now that we know where everybody stands, I'd be better prepared to determine what I can, or if I can, do something to help them without anyone getting angry, emotionally hurt, feeling rejected, slighted, blah, blah, blah.

      Depending on the number of people involved, making individual plans would be time consuming on your part. 

      As Mike and Savage and others said, a trust or partnership offers the best option, letting all who want to participate do so. Those who don't, its their own fault since the offer was extended to everyone at the same time.

      The biggest single concern is YOU. You still have a life to live and (hopefully) have plans for yourself. You need to keep the rest to a minimum which means family, old friends, new friends, acquaintances, people asking for help, and charities take a back seat until you are prepared to deal with it, or choose to deal with it at all.

      In no case  would I do anything more than I was comfortable with.

      My greatest accomplishment is teaching cats about Vienna Sausage. When I need a friend, all I need do is walk outside, pop open a can, and every little critter in the neighborhood drops by to say "Hi!"

        Teddi's avatar - Lottery-008.jpg

        United States
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        May 13, 2013
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        Posted: November 13, 2015, 9:28 pm - IP Logged

        Yes, you can stay anonymous in SC. I was mostly talking about the pitfalls of sharing the windfall with relatives. Would it screw up their lives. Like a lot of people out there, I have relatives that have kids.  Some with people they aren't married to. If they got a big chunk of cash all of a sudden, their exes could take them back to court to try to get more money in support. Those are problems they didn't ask for. Not to mention, some of my relatives hang out with some shady people. I wouldn't want to hear about someone trying to or killing one of my relatives trying to steal money from them. Or would they get strung out on drugs. It's a serious topic that requires a lot of thought.

        Hey travelin', I love your questions and thought process. But I think to answer your questions I would first have to ask, why do you want to help your family? What are your real reservations about? Them being hurt/harassed or you feeling obligated to give money to people who have not treated you well?

        Take the word "family" out of the equation because that word always carries with it the weight of obligation, even if it is undeserved. Also take the words "lottery win" out of it. If you had no genetic ties to these people and you'd earned the money instead of having won it, would you still give them anything?

        For MANY people, no matter how much you give, their view is that you should give more. Know that going in and be prepared.

        Frankly, you should always have a buffer between your family/friends and your money. If they want more than $100 from you they need to go through your CFA or CFP or business lawyer.

         

        If you still feel you should share your wealth with them, do so smartly. Trusts allow you to be generous without being stupid. Make it so funds are only released for what you deem, like medical care or tuition costs. Have it set so that only X amount is released per Y time period.  You can also attach to it the provisions of needing to pass a drug test or earn above a certain GPA. Make it clear that if you die or go missing, your money goes to charity. Learn from Jeffrey Dampier. If you choose to keep large stacks of cash somewhere, make sure you're the only one who knows.

        I might wake up early and go running.  I might also wake up and win the lottery.

        The odds are about the same.

          Avatar
          Baton Rouge, LA
          United States
          Member #4602
          May 7, 2004
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          Posted: November 13, 2015, 10:55 pm - IP Logged

          I think Jack Whittiker's problems were 99% his own fault.  If you broadcast that you carry suitcases full of cash which you leave in your car while you get plastered at strip joints, well of course you're gonna need bodyguards.

          Based just on the sketch you gave us, I agree with Tia.  Help your dad.  Continue to ignore the family you're not close to.  I think you can stay anonymous in SC can't you?

          I'm not close to any of my family either.  Can't even call them "family" anymore with a straight face.  They're just people I'm related to by blood.  Haven't heard from any of them in years.  My name would be published if I won here in Idaho, so they would know and at least 2 of them would expect me to give them some.  I'd have to get an unpublished cell phone to avoid their demands. 

          I have one sibling who would do anything for money.  I'd have to get an airtight will that said none of my siblings would inherit anything no matter what.  Then send that to all of them.  Otherwise she might be tempted to kill me.  No joke.  Even if I just disinherited her, she'd kill me thinking she could get the others to give her part of their inheritance.

          I think what caused Jack Whittaker's problems was he started thinking since he had all that money, he could do whatever he wanted. According to Wikipedia, when asked why he carried so much cash around, he responded "Because I can." I also found a quote from him on azquotes.com that he also once said "It doesn't bother me because I can tell everyone to kiss off." No matter how much money you have, that sort of attitude doesn't work. Treating people badly will always come back at you and he learned it the hard way.

          I have similar issues with my family as well. I'm not really close to them and I don't know if they'd ask for money. I can think of a few who might ask, more like tell, since they always thought they had the right to tell me what to do. I never listened before and I won't listen now.

          I'd probably do like has been discussed in these forums many times before, try to find an anonymous way to claim if possible, then keep my mouth shut and not make any changes for a while, possibly until after the story has faded from the headlines.

          Prisoner Six

          "I am not a number, I am a free man!"

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            CALI
            Afghanistan
            Member #118735
            November 6, 2011
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            Posted: November 13, 2015, 11:07 pm - IP Logged

            SO LUCKY... No Brothers or Sisters or Family its just me.

             

            Will be very simple when my Group Nails it.  27 Payback

             

            (HIT THE BIG ONE, OR BUY A SKI MASK)

             

              realtorjim's avatar - images q=tbn:ANd9GcT7U3t20NgScoPlxOqLT6TR0vQeJNBV3_tTswe1XeFDTsdw3NLZ

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              Posted: November 13, 2015, 11:21 pm - IP Logged

               The two letter word,"NO", has to be used.  Get together with your CPA, Certified Public Accountant, and discuss your questions with him/her. The IRS limits personal gifts to $14,000.00 per person. If you give more than that then you will owe gift taxes of 40%. 

               Of course, all this depends on you winning big. Good Luck!!

               Keep on reading Lottery Post members and use the Search box which is located at the top right of this page.

              "If you give more than that then you will owe gift taxes of 40%." 

              Remember, the key word here is YOU.  You, as the person giving, will owe the gift tax.  Not the person who receives the money.  There is a lifetime exclusion amount, but it is small in terms of winning a few hundred mil.

                I'm feeling a jackpot win coming my way!

                realtorjim's avatar - images q=tbn:ANd9GcT7U3t20NgScoPlxOqLT6TR0vQeJNBV3_tTswe1XeFDTsdw3NLZ

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                Posted: November 13, 2015, 11:31 pm - IP Logged

                Yes, you can stay anonymous in SC. I was mostly talking about the pitfalls of sharing the windfall with relatives. Would it screw up their lives. Like a lot of people out there, I have relatives that have kids.  Some with people they aren't married to. If they got a big chunk of cash all of a sudden, their exes could take them back to court to try to get more money in support. Those are problems they didn't ask for. Not to mention, some of my relatives hang out with some shady people. I wouldn't want to hear about someone trying to or killing one of my relatives trying to steal money from them. Or would they get strung out on drugs. It's a serious topic that requires a lot of thought.

                Sometimes the best thing you can do for somebody is nothing, travelintrucker.  It may seem harsh, but as you have described, a large infusion of cash could end up ruining some people.  Why not claim anonymously (thank you SC for this ability!), and help some occasionally, while acting like it will be a hardship but you'll manage.  They will appreciate you more than if you gave them a million (not that they wouldn't rather have a million and not give a crap about you).

                  I'm feeling a jackpot win coming my way!

                  realtorjim's avatar - images q=tbn:ANd9GcT7U3t20NgScoPlxOqLT6TR0vQeJNBV3_tTswe1XeFDTsdw3NLZ

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                  Posted: November 13, 2015, 11:41 pm - IP Logged

                  Fortunately most lottery players will never have to cross that bridge except in their dreams.

                  NO NO NO NO NO!  NO RjOh NO!  NANANANANANANA not listening not listening!

                  Bed

                    I'm feeling a jackpot win coming my way!

                    travelintrucker's avatar - morph
                    Greenville, SC
                    United States
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                    November 4, 2015
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                    Posted: November 14, 2015, 3:47 am - IP Logged

                    I don't. I was speaking in general. We hardly ever speak to each other. If one decided to give money to family and friends, how would it effect them and those around them? That is what I was posing to viewers.

                    May the balls bounce in your favor!

                      JAMORA's avatar - ladyclover
                      NC
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                      February 28, 2015
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                      Posted: November 14, 2015, 4:08 am - IP Logged

                      I have family who already live as if they've won the lottery...we aren't close, and I I have never asked for a dime....

                      Case by case .......it would depend on the relationship....

                      I wouldn't feel obligated.....no....but would definitely lift anyone near me in genuine need...and lavish those who have maintained relationships regardless of hardship..

                      "Don't waste time, it's the stuff life's made of..."

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                        New Member
                        Detroit, Michigan
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                        January 4, 2011
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                        Posted: November 14, 2015, 10:35 am - IP Logged

                        I think it's a very good question. I would like to share my winnings with family and friends, assuming the jackpot is a large one. And I've thought about the same sorts of issues. I wonder if you could form a club after you win and just make all of your 'recipients' members of the club to get around the pesky gift tax?? I would hate to suddenly be cut off from all the people I'm close to just because I came into money.

                          HoLeeKau's avatar - YheaShea
                          Idaho
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                          July 17, 2010
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                          Posted: November 14, 2015, 1:50 pm - IP Logged

                          I don't. I was speaking in general. We hardly ever speak to each other. If one decided to give money to family and friends, how would it effect them and those around them? That is what I was posing to viewers.

                          I think it depends on each person individually.  Some will be affected negatively to a great degree and some will be affected positively to a great degree and most will be in the middle.

                          And I don't think most of us know how someone else will be affected till it actually happens.  Most winners seem to be surprised when relatives and friends start using them as ATMs.  Most seem surprised when those they've given a million dollars keep coming back for more and get angry when they're cut off.

                          I think a previous poster had the right idea.  If you are going to give some to family, put a neutral party in the mix so that you can't be emotionally manipulated into giving more than you want to.  Set the ground rules before they even know they're getting anything.  Tell them exactly what you're willing to give and how and how often it will be paid, and tell them that amount is final and they won't be getting any more.  That way they can make their plans and budgets on that amount.  If they run out, then I guess they'd better budget better next year, or if it was a one-time gift then I guess they can buy lottery tickets and try to win their own jackpot.

                            Slick Nick's avatar - Lottery-035.jpg
                            Rochester
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                            January 1, 2011
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                            Posted: November 15, 2015, 6:39 am - IP Logged

                            This has crossed my mind many times as well, for the same reasons as some of yours. Regarding the family issue, families are tough at times. Many today are non-functional. I haven't seen what little bit of a family we once had for decades, so I would exclude them right away. They did it to themselves! Regarding security if I won, well I would keep things quiet due to age and wisdom as I think you should. You are alone, plus your Dad. I would find him a better place to live for the both of you, as I would before even announcing you'd won. People get goofy over money. There are countless stories on the web, in the news as you know. Regarding charities,gifts and donations, choose wisely, and don't over do it. Ask yourself, would they do it for me. Case point, take care of yourself first. See you in the winners line!Hurray!

                            Money is a terrible master, but a great servant...Smile

                              zephbe's avatar - animal butterfly.jpg
                              South Carolina
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                              Posted: November 15, 2015, 3:34 pm - IP Logged

                              I think it depends on each person individually.  Some will be affected negatively to a great degree and some will be affected positively to a great degree and most will be in the middle.

                              And I don't think most of us know how someone else will be affected till it actually happens.  Most winners seem to be surprised when relatives and friends start using them as ATMs.  Most seem surprised when those they've given a million dollars keep coming back for more and get angry when they're cut off.

                              I think a previous poster had the right idea.  If you are going to give some to family, put a neutral party in the mix so that you can't be emotionally manipulated into giving more than you want to.  Set the ground rules before they even know they're getting anything.  Tell them exactly what you're willing to give and how and how often it will be paid, and tell them that amount is final and they won't be getting any more.  That way they can make their plans and budgets on that amount.  If they run out, then I guess they'd better budget better next year, or if it was a one-time gift then I guess they can buy lottery tickets and try to win their own jackpot.

                              If they run out, then I guess they'd better budget better next year, or if it was a one-time gift then I guess they can buy lottery tickets and try to win their own jackpot.

                              I Agree!

                              Every champion was once a contender who refused to give up.-Rocky Balboa

                              “Don’t let someone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of going after yours.” – Zig Ziglar