emilyg's Blog

In which our whimsical host, Andrew Klavan, takes a look at the faith-based story of a young man who dies and goes to the promised land, only to find that it's a giant lie propped up by the American taxpayer and military.

TRANSCRIPT:

I'm Andrew Klavan and this is the Revolting Truth.

Today, in a special religious edition of the Revolting Truth, we'd like to take a look at the new faith-based bestseller, "Europe Is For Real."

"Europe is for Real" tells the inspiring story of the adorable 5-year-old Iowa boy Derpy Lipschitz.  One fateful day, in April of 2005, little Derpy complained to his mother of stomach pains and was rushed to the hospital where doctors discovered he had accidentally swallowed a copy of the New York Times while trying to bite the head off his pet canary.

Derpy was taken into surgery but the emergency worsened when the doctors tried to remove the Times' op-ed page from the child's colon and couldn't determine which was which.  In the confusion, a column by Paul Krugman traveled through the boy's bloodstream to his head causing instantaneous brain death.

It was then that a miracle happened.

As 5-year-old Derpy later told his parents, he felt his soul leave his body.  It traveled down the hall to a broom closet where he saw Mommy praying to Jesus, although she pronounced it Hay-soos.  Then, in a spiral of light, Derpy felt himself lifted up to a wondrous place beyond his wildest imagination.  It was a place where there was never any war, health care was free, and energy was green.  Yes, Derpy was in Europe.

Well, the surgery was a success.  The doctors were able to remove the New York Times from Derpy's brain and colon in a revolutionary procedure called pulling the head out of the ass.  When Derpy woke up in the hospital room, he saw his parents standing over him smiling, and he said, "Daddy, I've been to Europe!"

And Derpy's Daddy said to him, "Derpy, Europe is not for real.  Europe is an expensive socialist fantasy which was paid for by American capitalism for 65 years and is now going broke anyway.  They financed their so-called free health care with money they would have had to spend on defense if our military didn't keep them safe.  Oh, and by the way, the pharmaceutical companies can give them their meds at cheap rates because we pay inflated prices that pick up the slack and fund research and development.

As for European energy being green, ten years ago Germany trumpeted a transition to renewable resources that was supposed to create jobs, provide cheap electricity and save the planet.  It failed on every front and all across the European Union, green energy initiatives are being quietly abandoned.

It's true there's no war in Europe because they're protected from outside attack by America.  But as Socialism drains the money and the life out of their societies, and their populations quickly dwindle, the European nations are being conquered from within by Islamist monsters who rape and vandalize almost at will.  No one's allowed to criticize these animals because that would violate a pious leftist nonsense called multiculturalism...  and since leftism has destroyed every vestige of patriotism on the continent, no one has the conviction or the guts to stand up to this alien evil anyway.

So you see, Derpy, Europe is just the myth of a false religion called leftism.  But don't worry:  Heaven is for real.  Although Mommy can't go there because of what she did with Haysoos.

I'm Andrew Klavan with the Revolting Truth.

Last night on Late Night, host Seth Meyers opened up the flood gates on President Obama's strategy for fighting ISIS in Iraq and Syria.

Meyers starts strong, hitting Obama on his attempt to walk the peacenick/warmonger border by refusing to call the conflict with ISIS a war. He then moves directly into our being on the same side as Bashar al-Assad, and follows-up by completely trashing Congress.

Finally, Meyers absolutely blisters the moderate rebels storyline.

"Do we really think moderate rebels can stop ISIS? No, but it's a nice thing to say. 'Moderate rebels'. Try it at a dinner party. 'What we need to do is arm moderate rebels.' Everyone will nod and say 'I agree.'

"Hey, won't ISIS just take the guns from the moderate rebels? Yes, that is what will happen."

Meyers finishes up by saying that, yes, everything sucks. Which is something anyone can agree with these days.

President Obama's policies are more up for parody now than ever in his time on the national stage, although even now comedians still generally give him a pass personally. But that get out of jail free card is just about out of uses.

I HOPE THIS WILL PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE

AND IN YOUR HEART. This is a tribute to a man who

DID make a difference.

ON TURNING 70
'I still chase women, but only downhill.'

ON TURNING 80
'That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.'

ON TURNING 90
'You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.'

ON TURNING 100
'I don't feel old. In fact, I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.'

ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER, BOXING
'I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.'

ON NEVER WINNING AN OSCAR
'Welcome to the Academy Awards, or, as it's called at my home, 'Passover.'

ON GOLF
'Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees.'

ON PRESIDENTS
'I have performed for 12 presidents but entertained only six.'

ON WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBIZ

FOR HIS CAREER
'When I was born, the doctor said to my mother,

Congratulations, you have an eight pound ham.'

ON RECEIVING THE

CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL
'I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.'

ON HIS FAMILY'S EARLY POVERTY
'Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother.'

ON HIS SIX BROTHERS
'That's how I learned to dance. Waiting for the bathroom.'

ON HIS EARLY FAILURES
'I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me.'

ON GOING TO HEAVEN
'I've done benefits for ALL religions. I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.'

An Emergency Call Center worker in London, England, has
been sacked, much to the dismay of her colleagues who are
reportedly unhappy with her dismissal .

It seems a male caller dialed 999 from a mobile phone
stating, "I am depressed and lying here on a railway line.
I am waiting for the train to come so that
I can finally meet Allah."

"Remain calm and stay on the line ,"
was not considered to be an appropriate response...

Global Warming Fanatics Won't Like The Results Of A New Study     
         
     A new study suggests that the warming trend on the West Coast over the last century was not caused by human activity but more so by a change in the winds. Using independent data from 1900 to 2012, researchers showed that the temperature change is "primarily attributed to changes in atmospheric circulation." Get the whole story HERE.

from the Blaze

n Tuesday, The New York Times corrected a front page story from September 11, 2014, in which the Times falsely claimed that George W. Bush had not sought international alliances during the war in Iraq. Here's the correction:

An article on Sept. 11 about President Obama's speech to the nation describing his plans for a military campaign against the Islamic State, also known as ISIS, gave an incorrect comparison between efforts by the president to seek allies' support for his plans and President George W. Bush's efforts on such backing for the Iraq war. The approach Mr. Obama is taking is similar to the one Mr. Bush took; it is not the case that, "Unlike Mr. Bush in the Iraq war, Mr. Obama has sought to surround the United States with partners."

It only took the Times two weeks to correct this basic factual error. But the error has a point: to differentiate good, wise, holy and just Obama from evil supervillain George W. Bush. The New York Times is simply fulfilling Obama's central life function: not being George W. Bush.

In point of fact, Barack Obama had a total of nine allies in his battle against ISIS as of September 5. George W. Bush's original "coalition of the willing" had 48 countries as members.

he main, overarching tragedy in this story is that a 9-year-old boy is dead, gunned down by Chicago gang members who believed he was a lookout for a rival gang. The secondary tragedy is that the violent death of Antonio Smith, Jr., has been relegated to the back pages of the Chicago Tribune and other mainstream outlets that have carried the story of his murder.

The main reason for the silence of Al Sharpton and other race hucksters is that the four men charged with the boy's murder � Jabari Williams, 22, Michael D. Baker, Paris Denard, and Derrick Allmon, all 19 � are black.

New York's Daily News reports that the four thugs "were out looking to shoot rival gangsters on Aug. 20 when they encountered" the child playing in a yard near his home.

Allmon, who was armed and stalking two rivals, thought the boy was yelling out to warn his targets when he cut down the boy in a hail of bullets and left him lying next to a concrete slab in the back of a stranger's yard....

Read the rest of this Patriot Update article here: http://patriotupdate.com/2014/09/9-year-old-black-child-shot-death-hail-bullets-msm-black-leaders-mum/#FBPq1e4XMvL3Z7Tr.99

he Hillary Letters Hillary Clinton, Saul Alinksy correspondence revealed
9/21/2014, 10:28:08 PM � by Nachum � 15 replies
Free Beacon ^ | 9/21/14 | Alana Goodman
Previously unpublished correspondence between Hillary Clinton and the late left-wing organizer Saul Alinsky reveal new details about her relationship with the controversial Chicago activist and shed light on her early ideological development. Clinton met with Alinsky several times in 1968 while writing a Wellesley college thesis about his theory of community organizing. Clinton's relationship with Alinsky, and her support for his philosophy, continued for several years after she entered Yale law school in 1969, two letters obtained by the Washington Free Beacon show. The letters obtained by the Free Beacon are part of the archives for the Industrial Areas Foundation,...

There is little doubt, this president is responding, not out of any sense of what's right, but of pure politics.

ISIS is Barack Obama's mess.

He made it and now he wants our help to clean it up. What do Canadians owe him?

He's turned his back on allies such as Israel, having proven himself a bigger friend to the likes of Hamas and the Muslim Brotherhood than to the Jewish state.

He's no friend of Canada's.

Instead of working with his friends, he's tried in vain to appease such longtime enemiesobamas-mess-now-wants-canadas-help

Read the rest..

www.calgarysun.com

01  04  07

11  14  16

22  27  28

35  37  39

47  48

56  58  59

66  69         79

Speaking at the Congressional picnic at the White House on Wednesday, President Obama spoke on how being married to a politician is not easy and how sometimes their families might feel not appreciated.

He said, "The only other thing I want to say is, thank you to the families. You know it is, uh � Michelle was traveling to St. Judes today to be with the amazing kids there, and the doctors and staff, who help families going through really tough diseases. But she would be the first one to testify that being married to a politician is not easy. And being the partner of a politician, being the child of a politician, it's hard. Sometimes you see your loved one attacked, sometimes you see them not appreciated, and they're away too much, and you're having to shoulder some of the burdens of family. And so, to all the spouses, to all the children, everybody who helps support our public servants and our members of Congress, I just want to say thank you to you as well. For the great job that you do. We really, really appreciate it."

The quote starts at 3:54.

A word of advice to the first family: If you want to feel appreciated and feel warm and tingly inside, try to stop cramming things down the American people's throats like Obamacare and Michelle's school lunch programs.

Oh, and stop breaking the law.

When President Obama took office in 2009, congressional Democrats were euphoric. With control of the House, Senate and the White House, and high public approval for their new party standard bearer, Democrats eagerly embraced Obama and all the long-awaited policy initiatives he'd surely help them achieve.

In that first month, congressional Democrats mentioned Obama during floor speeches 200 or so more times than Republicans. In the next year and a half, the parties referred to the president at similar rates, sometimes with the Republicans having more to say, other times the Democrats.

One can reasonably assume that when the Democrats speak of the president publicly it's in a favorable way and when Republicans do it's, well, not quite as glowing. As positive public opinion of Obama began to dip after his first year, the spread between how often Republicans and the Democrats invoked Obama grew wider. Put simply, the Democrats weren't mentioning Obama by name nearly as much as Republicans.

The gap is particularly notable in the last year as seen in the chart above by the Sunlight Foundation, which measures how often any given word is spoken against all words in floor speeches and debates collected by the Congressional Record. Last fall, at the height of the government shutdown and the Obamacare rollout, Republicans were predictably discussing (bashing) Obama more.

But the trend has continued.

Much has been written this election cycle about the Democrats distancing themselves from Obama ahead of the midterm elections. Some Democratic candidates in tough races regularly emphasize their differences with the president. And Obama is persona non grata on the campaign trail (unless it's inside private high-dollar fundraiser dinners).

If the number of times they bring him up in front of the C-SPAN cameras is a measure, the Democrats detachment from the president is even evident on Capitol Hill � where every spoken word is recorded forever, so it's especially crucial to choose them carefully.

As my grandmother always said, "You can't take back the spoken word."

She also often said, "If you can't say anything, nice don't say anything at all." And perhaps Democrats simply don't have very many nice things to say.

I'm tired of this heat !!!!!!!!!
IT'S SO HOT,
SO
HUMID,

NO BREEZE,
AND
NO RAIN !!!!
....the birds
have to use potholders to pull the worms out of the ground.
....the trees are
whistling for the dogs.

....the best parking place is determined by shade
instead of distance

....hot water comes from both taps. (and that's
the truth)

....you can make sun tea instantly.

....you learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty
good branding iron.

....the temperature drops below 95 F (35 C) and
you feel a little chilly.

....you discover that in July it only takes two
fingers to steer your car.

....you discover that you can get sunburned through
your car window.

....you actually burn your hand opening the car
door.

....you break into a sweat the instant you step
outside at 7:30 A.M.

....your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if
I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death"?

....you realize that asphalt has a liquid stage.

....the potatoes cook underground, so all you have
to do is pull one out and add butter.

....the cows are giving evaporated milk.

....farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice
to keep them from laying boiled eggs

IT'S SO DRY .....
That the Baptists
are starting to baptize by sprinkling,

The Methodists are using wet-wipes,

Presbyterians are giving rain checks,

And the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back
into water

op Headlines:

Newsmax: Ex-State Dept. Official � Damaging Benghazi Documents Removed

There are about 200,000 Africans from countries hosting the deadly Ebola virus who hold temporary visas to visit the United States, greatly raising the stakes it could spread to America, according to a group following the immigration issue.

"Based on State Department nonimmigrant visa issuance statistics, I estimate that there are about 5,000 people in Guinea, 5,000 people in Sierra Leone, and 3,500 people in Liberia who possess visas to come to the United States today," said Jessica M. Vaughan, director of policy studies at the Center for Immigration Studies.

Add to that "more than 195,000 Nigerians" with visas to visit, or who could already be here, she said of the country that has seen temporary U.S. visas skyrocket.

The government has promised that the U.S. is safe, but that's not good enough for Vaughan. "At this time, with an extremely serious public health threat and more than 200,000 people who potentially could enter and spread it, either knowingly or unknowingly, the State Department and Department of Homeland Security should disclose to the public what they are doing to prevent travelers infected with Ebola from entering the country," she told Secrets.

The Ebola crisis is also drawing attention to citizens from Guinea, Sierra Leone and Liberia who overstay their visas. Vaughan said that the overstay rate of those from Ebola-impacted nations should be a concern.
Paul Bedard, the Washington Examiner's "Washington Secrets" columnist, c