emilyg's Blog

Je suis Charlie.     RIP to all the victims.

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Subject: Fw: A foursome of golfers

A foursome of golfers, all in their 40's, discussed where they should meet
for lunch.  Finally it was agreed that  they would meet at Hooters because
the waitresses were  young, good  looking, had big breasts and wore
short-shorts.

Ten years  later, at age 50, the golfing buddies once again discussed where
they should  meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at
Hooters because  the food and service was good, they had many televisions to
watch the games  on, and the beer selection was excellent.

Ten years later, at  age 60, the foursome again discussed where they should
meet for lunch. Finally  it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters
because there was plenty of  parking, they could dine in peace, and it was good
value for the  money.

Ten years later, at age 70, they discussed where they  should meet for
lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters  because the
restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had a toilet for the  disabled.

Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed  where they should meet
for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet  at Hooters because
they had never been there  before.

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contest to find out who had the wildest Christmas dinners. It won first prize.

ChristmasWith Louise:

As a joke, my brother Jay used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them.

What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids' stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.

One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don't sell those things at Wal-Mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown.

If you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go. You'll only confuse yourself. I was there an hour saying things like, "What does this do?" "You're kidding me!" "Who would buy that?" Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section.

I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the car pool lane during rush hour.

Finding what I wanted was difficult. "Love Dolls" come in many different models. The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could do things I'd never heard of. I settled for "Lovable Louise." She was at the bottom of the price scale.

To call Louise a "doll" took a huge leap of imagination.

On Christmas Eve and with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to life.

My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours. Long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the dangling pantyhose with Louise's pliant legs and bottom. I also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. I went home, and giggled for a couple of hours.

The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him VERY happy but had left the dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more.

We all agreed that Louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional Christmas dinner.

My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door. "What in the hell is that?" she asked.

My brother quickly explained, "It's a doll."

"Who would play with something like that?" Granny snapped.

I kept my mouth shut.

"Where are her clothes?" Granny continued.

"Boy, that turkey sure smells nice, Gran," Jay said, to steer her into dining room.

But Granny was relentless. "Why doesn't she have any teeth?"

Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It was Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, "Hang on Granny, hang on!"

My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, " Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?"

I told him she was Jay's friend.

A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home.

The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a noise like my father in the bathroom in the morning. Then she lurched from the mantel, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

My brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants.

Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car.

It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember.

Later in my brother's garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of Louise's collapse. We discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh.

Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her to perfect health.

I can't wait until next Christmas.

DON CHERRY, former coach of the Boston Bruins and now Canadian Hockey Commentator for CBC Television, was asked on a local live radio talk show, what he thought about the allegations of torture of suspected terrorists. His reply prompted his ejection from the studio, but to thunderous applause from the audience.

HIS STATEMENT:

"If hooking up one rag head terrorist prisoner's testicles to a car battery to get the truth out of the lying little camel shagger will save just one Canadian or American life, then I have only three things to say: 'Red is positive, black is negative, and make sure his nuts are wet."

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A gunman shot and killed two New York City police officers as they sat inside their patrol car in Brooklyn Saturday, then fled to a nearby subway station where he turned the gun on himself.

The attack took place in Brooklyn at around 3 p.m., the New York Daily News reported.

"The perp came out of the houses, walked up behind the car and lit them up," a high-ranking police official told the Daily News. 

The suspect then fled to a nearby subway station before he shot and killed himself.

An NYPD spokesman confirmed to Fox News that two officers were shot in the incident and were immediately taken to a nearby hospital. Police later told The Associated Press that both officers died from their injuries.

The New York Post reported that both officers were shot in the head at point-blank range, and that investigators believed the shooting may have been motivated by the deaths of Eric Garner and Michael Brown.

"I'm Putting Wings on Pigs Today," a person believed to be the gunman wrote in an Instagram post that referenced both Brown and Garner posted just three hours before the officers were shot, the New York Post reported.

"It's an execution," one law enforcement source told The Post.

The gunman just started "pumping bullets" into the patrol car, another source said.

The suspect then fled to a nearby subway statio

A young man went to seek an important position at a large printing company. He passed the initial interview and was going to meet the director for the final interview. The director saw his resume, it was excellent. And asked, '
- Have you received a scholarship for school?' The boy replied, " No '.
-' It was your father who paid for your studies? '
-' Yes.'- He replied.
-' Where does your father work? '
-' My father is a Blacksmith'
The Director asked the young to show him his hands.
The young man showed a pair of hands soft and perfect.
-' Have you ever helped your parents at their job? '
-' Never, my parents always wanted me to study and read more books. Besides, he can do the job better than me.
The director said:
-' I have got a request: When you go home today, go and wash the hands of your father and then come see me tomorrow morning.'

The young felt his chance to get the job was high.
When he returned to his house he asked his father if he would allow him to wash their hands.
His father felt strange, happy, but with mixed feelings and showed their hands to his son. The young washed his hands, little by little. It was the first time that he noticed his father's hands were wrinkled and they had so many scars. Some bruises were so painful that his skin shuddered when he touched them.
This was the first time that the young man recognized what it meant for this pair of hands to work every day to be able to pay for his study. The bruises on the hands were the price that he payed for their education, his school activities and his future.
After cleaning his father's hands the young man stood in silence and began to tidy and clean up the workshop. That night, father and son talked for a long time.

The next morning, the young man went to the office of the director.
The Director noticed the tears in the eyes of the young when He asked him: -' Can you tell me what you did and what you learned yesterday at your house?'
The boy replied: -' I washed my father's hands and when I finished I stayed and cleaned his workshop '
-' Now I know what it is to appreciate and recognize that without my parents , I would not be who I am today . By helping my father I now realize how difficult and hard it is to do something on my own. I have come to appreciate the importance and the value in helping the family.

The director said, "This is what I look for in my people. I want to hire someone who can appreciate the help of others , a person who knows the hardship of others to do things, and a person who does not put money as his only goal in life". ' You are hired '.

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Ferguson Protesters: "Exterminate White Crackers" and "Kill Whitey"

Breitbart: "Tanzania's Albinos 'Killed like Animals' for Body Parts Used in Potions...As BBC explains, the tradition of cooking albinos into potions is not a new one in Tanzania..."

CBS New York: "Police: Examples Of Troubling 'Knockout' Game Popping Up All Over. Recent Attacks Have Targeted Brooklyn Jews; 78-Year-Old Woman Latest Victim"

Headline, Washington Post "Entrenched anti-Semitic views" very rare among whites and Asian Americans, common among blacks and Latinos."

Rap lyrics: "Once again I gotta punch a bitch in her sh*t / I'm icy bitch, don't look at my wrist / Because if you do, I might blind you bitch." (Jasper Dolphin of Odd Future)

Headline, New Yoek Times: "Attacks on Mexicans Leave Neighborhood in Turmoil...The police said Friday that nine men � all of them Mexican immigrants � had been attacked since early April, all by young black men."

Rape at the University of Virginia. Misogyny doesn't always stop short of murder. Consider the rape and murder of a co-ed at the University of Virginia:

"UVA suspect Jesse Matthews indicted in 2005 rape case A skull, bones and vertebrae � believed to be the remains of missing University of Virginia student Hannah Graham � found on Saturday were just five miles from where a decomposed body of another female student was located in 2009."
Mathews. He is probably a Republican, but I don't want to profile.

And so it goes. In all of these cases we see with shocking clarity the hatred that lies within the Caucasian soul. Here, laid bare before all the world, is White Privilege at its worst, the disrespect for women, the hostility, and the innate barbarism of European "civilization." We must make a clean breast of it, repent, and offer what reparations we may to those we have harmed.

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In which our politically correct host, Andrew Klavan, takes a look at the disturbing history of the Reverend Al Sharpton - called reverend because he is revered, by Al Sharpton.

TRANSCRIPT:

I'm Andrew Klavan and this is the Revolting Truth.

Everywhere you look these days, there's Al Sharpton... it's strange, even after you wake up screaming, he's still there.  It's like one of those Blumhouse movies.  If he's not in some city calling for protests because a cop killed a thug who was resisting arrest, he's in some other city calling for protests because another cop killed another thug who was also resisting arrest.  He's even been meeting with Barack Obama as if the president of the United States were just some hapless loser who can't find anyone else to talk to.  So it's about time we asked ourselves:  who is Al Sharpton... and why?

Al Sharpton has dedicated his life to the improvement of the black man Al Sharpton.

He first flushed himself to fame in 1987, when a 15-year-old black girl named Tawana Brawley concocted a lie about being raped by a group of white men. Reverend Al Sharpton � called Reverend Al Sharpton because he's revered by Al Sharpton � became one of Tawana's so-called advisors.  He falsely accused a young police officer of participating in the alleged rape, and after the already troubled officer committed suicide, Sharpton accused another man of murdering him to cover up the crime.  Sharpton and his cronies organized daily protests using viciously inflammatory language - even though one of Sharpton's top aides says Sharpton suspected all along Tawana's story was false. Finally a Grand Jury investigation exposed the girl's hoax, leaving Sharpton looking almost exactly like a race baiting charlatan.

Unless you happened to be a leftist or a journalist or some other sort of gullible buffoon.  In that case, Al Sharpton was now a "black leader."  And sure enough, wherever a tragedy could be misconstrued as a case of racism, black leader Al was there leading blacks to false conclusions and violence.

There was Crown Heights Brooklyn for instance.  When a black child was accidentally killed by a car driven by a Hassidic Jew there in 1991, a small gang of local blacks responded by murdering  an innocent Jewish man. But that wasn't good enough for Al. His furious rhetoric helped stir days of anti-Jewish riots in what's been called one of the worst anti-semitic incidents in American history.

And Al wasn't done.  In 1995, he helped incite a vicious name-calling boycott of a Jewish storeowner in Harlem � and inspire protests that only ended when one of the protestors shot four whites in the man's store and set the place on fire, killing seven workers, most of them Hispanic.

More recently, Sharpton has accused three white LaCrosse players from Duke University of raping a black girl, which they didn't; made out that Trayvon Martin was the victim of a racist murder, which he wasn't; and suggested Michael Brown was a gentle innocent shot dead by an evil cop � wrong again � and he managed to do it all while owing the government 4.5 million dollars in taxes.

Which brings us back to our original question:  Why do corrupt, opportunistic knuckleheads get elevated to black leadership?  Maybe that wasn't our original question.  I can't remember.  But I mean, you don't see white people accepting leaders like this.  If someone like Hillary Clinton had been shown to lie outright again and again about everything from her husband's infidelities to being shot at in a war zone to the reasons behind the terrorist attack in Benghazi, would white people accept her as a leader?  Okay, maybe that's not a good example.  Well, then, if Teddy Kennedy left his mistress to drown so he could fashion an alibi...  Okay, wait.  If fools like Harry Reid or Nancy Pelosi...

Okay.  Look, black people, the point is:  don't elevate demagogic flim-flammers to leadership in your community.  Don't be like white people.  You're better than that.

I'm Andrew Klavan with the Revolting Truth.

12/10/2014, 10:31:17 PM � by Altura Ct. � 34 replies
Daily News ^ | 12/9/2014
Charlottesville police nabbed Gene Everett Washington Monday night after he allegedly bludgeoned 58-year-old Robin Aldridge and 17-year-old Mani Aldridge Friday night. He faces two counts of first-degree murder. A Virginia man beat a schoolteacher and her teenage daughter to death inside their own home, police said. Charlottesville police nabbed Gene Everett Washington Monday night following the Friday deaths of 58-year-old Robin Aldridge and 17-year-old Mani Aldridge, Charlottesville's Newsplex reported. The 30-year-old was charged with two counts of first-degree murder. It's not clear if Washington knew the Aldridge family. Crews responded to a fire at the Charlottesville home Friday night. They...

By Sharpton's logic (if that is the correct term), out-of-work non-black fathers should abandon their children at the same rate as black unemployed fathers. But according to a Pew poll, black fathers are more than twice as likely as white fathers to live apart from their children (44% vs. 21%). Hispanics fall in between at 35%.
Read more at http://patriotupdate.com/2014/12/sharpton-epidemic-black-men-abandoning-families-governments-fault-video/

Bill Clinton was driving past the White House when he accidentally ran over the Obama's new puppy, Sunny, crushing it flat as a fritter. He climbed out of his Rolls and sat down on the grass totally distraught. He knew Michele would go friggin' ballistic.

Then he noticed a lamp half-buried in the ground. He dug it up, brushed it off and immediately a Genie popped out.  "You have freed me from thousands of years of imprisonment," said the Genie "As a reward I shall grant you one wish."

"Well," said Bill, "I have all the material things I need, but let me show you this <snip>ed dog."

They walk over to the splattered remains of Sunny. "Do you think you could bring this dog back to life for me?" Bill asked. The Genie looked at the remains and shook his head. "This poor critter is too far gone for even me to bring it back to life. Maybe there's something else you'd like?"     

Bill thought for a minute, reached into his pocket and pulled out two photos. "I had an affair with this beautiful young girl called Monica," said Bill, showing the genie the first photo. "But I'm actually married to this pretty distressed looking woman called Hillary" and he showed the genie the second photo.  "You see Hillary isn't good looking at all, so do you think you can make her look pretty like Monica?"

The Genie studied the two photographs and after a few minutes said, "<snip> man, let's go have another look at that dog!"