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May 4, 2006, 10:42 pmMy Loss
I dont know where to even start.....Today I buried my 2nd sister. 12 years ago, I lost my baby sister to a health condition that was unexpected, They called in"Adult Respiratory Distress Syndrome she was 16 years old. Today I buried yet another sister, my big sister Wendy. I now have become familiar with the word "numb" yet once again. I never thought that I would ever have to bury one sister let alone now a 2nd sister. I dont understand..... God why? I know that were not suppose to question anything that you do, but I have to have these answers to come to terms with this and to be able to get closer. When you took my baby sis I didnt sleep for years after couldnt eat and didnt even know how to get out of bed each morning. Finally I have come to terms with loosing her and then you take another sister. Why?????????? what have I done???? What did they do???? She had 3 children who need her! And now all they have is me. There was 100 times today that I wanted to lay down beside you in that casket ....but I know that I have to go on for YOU ...I didnt and will never forget our promise wendy and I will keep it and I will be there for your little girls. All I can do is pray that god will find a way to provide for us and what we need. Its going to be hard but the love that I have for you and your babies ......I wont stop fighting even if it puts me in the ground to. Wendy I have wished, begged pleaded for God to give you back to me today as i kissed your lips and help your hand but your body did not get warm again. I waited but you never came back!!! I dont know how I am going to pay for you funeral we have been colleting some funds for the memeorial account just not alot of donations. Even though right now I am doing everything that I can to hold on to my faith in God. I can ony pray that he provides. Wendy I love you and I will miss you with every breath every tear every step and every beat of my heart. You were and always will be my best friend my life and I dont want you to worry about your girls... I will take my last breath if I have to providing for them. I love you Wendy... I will never forget Your little sister