My Loss

Published: May 4, 2006, 10:42 pm

I dont know where to even start.....Today I buried my 2nd sister. 12 years ago, I lost my baby sister to a health condition that was unexpected, They called in"Adult Respiratory Distress Syndrome she was 16 years old. Today I buried yet another sister, my big sister Wendy. I now have become familiar with the word "numb" yet once again. I never thought that I would ever have to bury one sister let alone now a 2nd sister. I dont understand..... God why? I know that were not suppose to question anything that you do, but I have to have these answers to come to terms with this and to be able to get closer. When you took my baby sis I didnt sleep for years after couldnt eat and didnt even know how to get out of bed each morning. Finally I have come to terms with loosing her and then you take another sister. Why?????????? what have I done???? What did they do???? She had 3 children who need her! And now all they have is me. There was 100 times today that I wanted to lay down beside you in that casket ....but I know that I have to go on for YOU ...I didnt and will never forget our promise wendy and I will keep it and I will be there for your little girls. All I can do is pray that god will find a way to provide for us and what we need. Its going to be hard but the love that I have for you and your babies ......I wont stop fighting even if it puts me in the ground to. Wendy I have wished, begged pleaded for God to give you back to me today as i kissed your lips and help your hand but your body did not get warm again. I waited but you never came back!!! I dont know how I am going to pay for you funeral we have been colleting some funds for the memeorial account just not alot of donations. Even though right now I am doing everything that I can to hold on to my faith in God. I can ony pray that he provides. Wendy I love you and I will miss you with every breath every tear every step and every beat of my heart. You were and always will be my best friend my life and I dont want you to worry about your girls... I will take my last breath if I have to providing for them. I love you Wendy... I will never forget Your little sister

Entry #1

Comments

Tenaj - May 4, 2006, 10:57 pm

I'm sorry for your loss SassyOhio.

bellyache - May 5, 2006, 1:22 am

I too am sorry for your loss Sassy. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

LOTTOMIKE - May 5, 2006, 2:57 am

my condolences.......

DoubleDown - May 5, 2006, 11:32 am

I don't know where to start either.
When I saw your first posts on this board I was feeding off of your enthusiasm--it was( and is ) very contagious. You strike me as a very upbeat person.
That same enthusiasm can be turned into resolve, as I see your determination to raise your sister's children.
No, she cannot come back and help you, but I promise you that she will be there in spirit- there will be times when you wonder "how did that happen"? or, "did you feel that"? Those will be the times she is touching you abd those babies. She indeed will be there as they grow up.
She will be at their graduations, weddings, and yes, even their funerals.
As long as someone lives in your heart, they are never gone.
Be strong-- those babies are counting on you.

I hope that you can find some comfort in what I have said.
I know it's tough, but you are tougher....
Mike

SassyOhio - May 5, 2006, 2:46 pm

Thank You all for your comments and support. God Bless

Saleo Paleo - May 5, 2006, 3:16 pm

All my thoughts and prayers are with you.

konane - May 5, 2006, 6:02 pm

Sincerest sympathies for the pain of your loss.

SassyOhio - May 6, 2006, 9:29 pm

I appreciate everyone taking the time to care .... I am sorry that I am in a distraught mood ... dazed and confused. I posted this blog and from advise from fellow memebers posted a forum asking for some advice and maybe some agencies that may be able to offer my sisters children some kind of help. I went in today to find 2 people bashing what I am trying o do for her. One saying that I was ignorant for not CREMATING HER ... when that was a option offered to my oldest neice she had a anxiety attack and freaked and said NO NO NO dont burn my mommas body...so now I am being condemend for doing as she wished. Then I was called a scammer.. I dont understand. I am setting here shaking so bad that I can barely type. Dazed ...how can someone be so cruel how can someone be so heartless I dont understand. I posted her online funeral site where her nameis on there and her obit. ect They probably will say I made that site OMG so cruel. I just want to say to you all I came in here to get some thing s off my chest and vent and express my loss I cant do it in front of the kids. I have to be strong for them so this is the only way that I knew how to do it and now my heart is ripped out of my chest yet again from 2 people being so cruel. God forgive them.

gocart1 - May 18, 2006, 8:48 pm

I'm so sorry for your loss SassyOhio.........Peace and love to you from da bronx

justxploring - Jun 11, 2006, 3:37 pm

#10

I once posted that your web site was beautiful and I was touched by your tribute to your sister. Maybe you didn't get a chance to read it. You have such a nice smile that I never questioned your honesty and know your loss and the challenges you face are real. Ignore the ignorant. That's all you can do. You have the support of so many people who care. Peace, Nancy

irondoor827 - Jul 3, 2007, 8:48 am

#11

sassy , the real God don't kill , he never destroys his own creations ;
Only the devil can kill :
"but I would not have you to be ignorat brethren,concerning them which are asleep ,that you sorrow not even as others which have no hope.( "1 thessalonians 4:13-18 )

My Loss

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