eddessaknight's Blog

RAPED & MURDERED LITTLE DOG :-( can't make this up

Try to rationally consider and fatham this what's happening here-

As reported in the LVRJ nespaper today

by W.A.Root

"....an undocumented immigrant in Oregon who raped a small dog to DEATH. The extreme left Democrats of Oregon, a sanctuary State, are so obsessed with doing anything and everything to help undocumented immigrant criminals, they refused to turn this DOG rapist and murderer over to U.S Immigration Enforcement. They let him walk right out the ront door after being found guilty of raping any murdering a little dog. :-(

Entry #1,036

The Danger of Sleeping in Intellectual Darkness ??

Sleeping in Intellectual Darkness ??

ARE WE LIVING IN DARKNESS........................................,

BRITAIN CONQUERED WITHOUT BLOODSHED BY 2018

Who is to blame for Britain passively capitulating to a Muslim invasion ?

Mayor of London ... MUSLIM 

Mayor of Birmingham ... MUSLIM
Mayor of Leeds .. MUSLIM
Mayor of Blackburn ... MUSLIM
Mayor of Sheffield ... MUSLIM
Mayor of Oxford .. MUSLIM
Mayor of Luton ... MUSLIM
Mayor of Oldham ... MUSLIM
Mayor of Rockdale ... MUSLIM.

 

Over 3,000 Muslim Mosques
Over 130 Muslim Sharia Court Jurisdiction
Over 50 Muslim Sharia Councils
Muslims-Only No-Go Areas Across The UK.

 

Muslim Women ... 78% don't work and are on FREE benefits/housing.

 

Muslim Men ... 63% don't work and are on FREE benefits/housing.

 

Muslim Families 6-8 children planning to go on FREE benefits/housing.

 

Now all UK schools are ONLY serving HALAL MEAT !


All this achieved by just 4 million Muslims out of the Countries 66 million population!!!

 

Better enjoy your last few years!!!...this is an example of what is in store for America!. Thought provoking isn't it?.... for friends and Relatives who are still sleeping in intellectual darkness. Don't sit there and think it cannot happen here!...... It can and will as they have already started with them in our CONGRESS, in case you have not noticed.

Entry #1,035

The ANT AND THE  GRASSHOPPER    This one is different :-)

 
 

The ANT AND THE 
GRASSHOPPER 
 
This one is different

Two Versions 
Two 
M orals
 
OLD VERSION
 
The  ant  works 
hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
 
The  grasshopper 
thinks the 
ant  is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
 
Come winter, the  ant  is warm 
and well fed.
 
The  grasshopper  has 
no food or shelter, so he 
dies out in the cold.
 
MORAL OF THE OLD STORY:
 
Be responsible for yourself!
 

MODERN 
VERSION
 
The  ant  works hard 
in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house
and laying up supplies for the winter.
 
The  grasshopper    thinks the  ant 
is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
 
Come winter, the shiveringgrasshopper 
calls a press conference and demands to know why the 
ant  should be 
allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving..
 
CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN,        
and  ABC  show up to 
provide pictures of the shivering
grasshopper 
next to a video of the 
ant 
in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. 
America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
 
 
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor  grasshopper 
is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog  appears 
on 
Oprah 
with the 
grasshopper 
and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green'

Occupy the Anthill  stages 
a demonstration in front of the 
ant'shouse where the news stations film the
Black Lives Matter group singing,  We shall overcome.
 
Then Reverend Al Sharpton 
has the group kneel down to pray for the 
grasshopper 
while he <snip>s the ants. He later appears on MSNBC to complain that rich people do not care.
 
Former President Obama  condemns the  ant 
and blames 
Donald Trump, President Bush 43, President Bush 41, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the 
Pope 

for the 
grasshopper's 
plight.
 
Nancy Pelosi & Chuck Schumer      
exclaim in an interview on The View 
that the 
ant  has 
gotten rich off the back of the 
grasshopper

and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
 
Finally, the  EEOC  drafts  
the  Economic Equity & 
Anti-Grasshopper Act 
 
retroactive to the beginning of 
the summer.

The  ant  is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number 
of 
green bugs  and, 
having; nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the
Government Green Czar, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez  and given to thegrasshopper.
 

The story ends as we see thegrasshopper 
and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the 
ant's  food while the government house he is in,
which, as you recall, just happens to be the  ant's  old house, 
crumbles around them because the
grasshopper doesn't  maintain it.
 
The  ant  has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.
 
The  grasshopper  is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken 
over by a gang of 
spiders  who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and peaceful, neighborhood.
 
The entire  Nation  collapses 
bringing the rest 
of the free world with it.
 

MORAL OF THE STORY:
 
Be careful how you vote in 2020.
 
 
I've sent this to you because I believe that you are an ant 
not a grasshopper!
 

Make sure that you pass 
this on to other ants.
 
 
Don't bother sending 
it on to any grasshoppers 
because they wouldn't
understand it, anyway.
Entry #1,034

The definition of a racist...

The definition of a racist

By  Wayne Allyn Root 

 

"You know the definition of a “racist”? Anyone winning an argument with a liberal.


I feel like we’re all starring in a new updated version of the movie “Groundhog Day.”


We keep waking up to the same silly storyline. And it always turns out in President Donald Trump’s favor, day after day after day. Just like in “Groundhog Day.”


Once again, Trump sent out — in my opinion — a common sense, but controversial tweet. Once again, the media overreacted, exaggerated and took it out of context.


Once again, Democrat politicians lost their minds. Once again, we heard cries of “racist, Hitler, fascist, Nazi, KKK” and, of course, cries for impeachment. Once again, the media and political “experts” left Trump for roadkill. They thought they finally had him.


It’s comical. They should know by now, Trump always wins. Because what liberals and the liberal media call “shocking” “controversial” or “racist,” is usually common sense and raw truth.


Or didnt you see the latest polls? Trump went up after the tweet. Yes, I said up. But you probably didnt hear that in the mainstream media.


Let’s start with Reuters — the most liberal biased polling organization in America.


It had Trump losing by double digits throughout the entire 2016 presidential race. How’d that turn out? Yet that poll showed Trump’s approval rating among Republicans rose after the tweet.


Now, let’s move to the only pollster that matters, Rasmussen. Rasmussen polls only “likely voters.” That’s why Rasmussen got the 2016 election right. “Likely voters” almost always vote, so their opinion matters.


As of Friday, Rasmussen reports that Trump is polling at 50 percent approval. Higher than before the tweet. At just about the highest of his presidency. And far higher than Barack Obama at this point in his presidency.


But wait, there’s more. Nearly 50 percent of voters in that Rasmussen poll think charges of racism against Trump are “politically motivated.”


As a matter of fact, Rasmussen shows that the percentage of Americans who call Trump a “racist” is down three percentage points since January 2018. And the amount of Americans who think the word “racist” is used as a political weapon is up six points in that timeframe.


In other words, it’s all backfiring on Democrats.


Now to the actual definition of racism. Was Trump’s tweet “racist?” Absolutely not.


Trump was basically saying, “Love it, or leave it.” If you hate our country so much, get out. What’s wrong with that?


Once again, liberals and the liberal media have purposely confused the intent of Trump’s tweet. Trump didn’t say get out of the country because you’re black or Hispanic.


Trump didn’t say get out because you’re an immigrant.


He didn’t pick those four angry and radical congresswomen because of the color of their skin. He picked them because of the color of their politics — red, as in communist.


Could he have stated it more clearly? Sure. I would have said, “Since you’re all clearly angry, bitter socialists and communists, and you hate America so much, get out. Head to the nearest socialist or communist hellhole, like Somalia, Cuba or Venezuela. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out. Bon voyage.”


By the way, you want to know the real definition of a racist? Rasmussen reports that 32 percent of Democrats think any white criticism of a politician of color is racism.


That’s the very definition of racism — with a healthy dose of pure stupidity."

 

By  Wayne Allyn Root 

Entry #1,033

SUBLIMINAL ALERT: Top Scientist Reveals How Google & Facebook Are Going To Steal 2020 Election

------------

 

SUBLIMINAL ATTACK ALERT:

 

Top Scientist Reveals How Google, Facebook Are Going To Steal The 2020 Election 

 

https://youtu.be/S3mdjJhhqqs

 

Top Scientist Reveals How Google and Facebook Are Going To Steal The 2020 Election

During the 7-16-19 Senate hearing on Google and censorship was underway during and former editor of Psychology Today Dr Robert Epstein.

youtu.be

 

MUST WATCH!!

Entry #1,032

Vietnamese Wartime Immigrant Cries Out: Wake Up to America!

A Vietnamese Wartime Immigrant Cries Out to America

 

THIS IS LONG BUT WORTH READING IN IT'S ENTIRETY.

 

 

The kneeling NFL players should read this --or have someone read it to them!

 

 

The difference between legal and illegal.  This is something everyone in America should read….

 

On Saturday, July 24th, 2010 the town of Prescott Valley, AZ, hosted a Freedom Rally.  Quang Nguyen was asked to speak on his experience of coming to America and what it means.  He spoke the following in dedication to all Vietnam Veterans.  Thought you might enjoy hearing what he had to say: 

 

Start Quote:   35 years ago, if you were to tell me that I am going to stand up here speaking to a couple thousand patriots, in English, I'd laugh at you.  Man, every morning I wake up thanking God for putting me and my family in the greatest country on earth.  I just want you all to know that the American dream does exist and I am living the American dream.  I was asked to speak to you about my experience as a first generation Vietnamese-American, but I'd  rather speak to you as an American.

 

If you hadn’t noticed, I am not white and I feel pretty comfortable with my people.  I am a proud US citizen and here is my proof.  It took me 8 years to get it, waiting in endless lines, but I got it, and I am very proud of it.

 

I still remember the images of the Tet offensive in 1968, I was six years old.  Now you might want to question how a 6-year-old boy could remember anything.  Trust me, those images can never be erased.  I can't even imagine what it was like for young American soldiers, 10,000 miles away from home, fighting on my behalf.

 

35 years ago, I left South Vietnam for political asylum.  The war had ended  At the age of 13, I left with the understanding that I may or may not ever get to see my siblings or parents again.  I was one of the first lucky 100,000 Vietnamese allowed to come to the US.  Somehow, my family and I were reunited 5 months later, amazingly, in California.  It was a miracle from God.

 

If you haven't heard lately that this is the greatest country on earth, I am telling you that right now.  It was the freedom and the opportunities presented to me that put me here with all of you tonight.  I also remember the barriers that I had to overcome every step of the way.  My high school counselor told me that I cannot make it to college due to my poor communication skills.  I proved him wrong.  I finished college.  You see, all you have to do is to give this little boy an opportunity and encourage him to take and run with it.  Well, I took the opportunity and here I am.

 

This person standing tonight in front of you could not exist under a socialist/communist environment.  By the way, if you think socialism is the way to go, I am sure many people here will chip in to get you a one-way ticket out of here.  And if you didn't know, the only difference between socialism and communism is an AK-47 aimed at your head.  That was my experience.

 

In 1982, I stood with a thousand new immigrants, reciting the Pledge of Allegiance and listening to the National Anthem for the first time as an American.  To this day, I can't remember anything sweeter and more patriotic than that moment in my life.

 

Fast forwarding, somehow I finished high school, finished college, and like any other goofball 21 year old kid, I was having a great time with my life I had a nice job and a nice apartment in Southern California.  In some way and somehow, I had forgotten how I got here and why I was here.

 

One day I was at a gas station, I saw a veteran pumping gas on the other side of the island.  I don't know what made me do it, but I walked over and asked if he had served in Vietnam.  He smiled and said yes.  I shook and held his hand.  This grown man's eyes began to well up.  I walked away as fast as I could and at that very moment, I was emotionally rocked.  This was a profound moment in my life.  I knew something had to change in my life.  It was time for me to learn how to be a good citizen.  It was time for me to give back.    

You see, America is not just a place on the map, it isn't just a physical location.  It is an ideal, a concept.  And if you are an American, you must understand the concept, you must accept this concept, and most importantly, you have to fight and defend this concept.  This is about Freedom and not free stuff.  And that is why I am standing up here

 

Brothers and sisters, to be a real American, the very least you must do is to learn English and understand it well.  In my humble opinion, you cannot be a faithful patriotic citizen if you can't speak the language of the country you live in.  Take this document of 46 pages - last I looked on the Internet, there wasn't a Vietnamese translation of the U.S. Constitution.  It took me a long time to get to the point of being able to converse and until this day, I still struggle to come up with the right words. It's not easy, but if it's too easy, it's not worth doing.

 

Before I knew this 46-page document, I learned of the 500,000 Americans who fought for this little boy.  I learned of the 58,000 names inscribed on the black wall at the Vietnam Memorial.  You are my heroes.  You are my founders.

 

At this time, I would like to ask all the Vietnam veterans to please stand.  I thank you for my life.  I thank you for your sacrifices, and I thank you for giving me the freedom and liberty I have today.  I now ask all veterans, firefighters, and police officers, to please stand  On behalf of all first generation immigrants, I thank you for your services and may God bless you all.

 

Quang Nguyen

Creative Director/Founder

Caddis Advertising, LLC

"God Bless America"

“One Flag, One Language, One Nation Under God”

 

For those who understand, no explanation is needed.

For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.

 

Interesting whenwe have Illegal’s here in the U.S. waving Mexican and other country flags... CRY BABY NFL players not respecting our flag and national anthem.  Others rioting and looting and saying how terrible America is.  Time for true Americans to wake up at what is going on.  Time for our Washington D.C. swamp to be drained and some true Americans that love and understand to take charge.

 

 

US Flag

Entry #1,031

Why NATIONAL BROADCASTING COMPANY Got Rid Of Jay Leno -:(

----------

WHY NBC GOT RID OF JAY LENO.

 

News is leaking out from Hollywood executives in-the-know that the Obama White House had been leaning on, pressuring executives at NBC for the last two years of Leno's tenure to replace Jay because the comedian was criticizing Obama every night. Obama didn't like it and considered it a racist attack on him.

 

After data came to light that $100's of millions had been spent on First Family vacations during a recession, Mrs. Obama's unpopular new laws that changed food in America's schools and other negative news including the disastrous Obamacare roll-out & website mess, Jay Leno took his comedy to a new level and his ratings skyrocketed -- none of the other comics were so bold.   

NBC couldn't stomach the fact that Leno's jokes about Obama were always right on target about the first black president... And left-leaning Democrat executives at NBC were being harassed by Obama himself.

 

GOLDEN OLDIES FROM JAY:

 

"I was going to start off tonight with an Obama joke, but I don't want to get audited by the IRS."

 

On NSA surveillance: "We wanted a president who listens to all Americans -- now we have one."

 

On a new IRS commissioner: "He's called 'acting commissioner' because he has to act like the scandal doesn't involve the White House."

 

On closing the Guantanamo prison for terrorists: "If he really wants to close it, turn it into a government-funded solar power company. The doors will be shut in a month."

 

Concerning the Benghazi, Associated Press, and IRS scandals: "Remember in the old days when President Obama's biggest embarrassment was Joe Biden?"

 

On saying he didn't know about the IRS scandal:"He was too busy not knowing anything about Benghazi to not know anything about the IRS."

 

"The White House has a new slogan about Benghazi: Hope and change the subject."

 

"It's casual Friday, which means that at the White House, they're casually going through everybody's phone calls and records."

 

"It is not looking good for President Obama. Today his teleprompter took the fifth."

 

"Fox News has changed its slogan from 'Fair and Balanced' to 'See, I told you so!'"

 

On commencement address: "He told the young graduates their future is bright unless, of course, they want jobs."

 

On a Chicago man who set a record for riding a Ferris wheel: "The only other way to go around and around in a circle that many times is to read the official report on Benghazi."

 

On White House claims of ignorance on the scandals: "They took 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' out of the Pentagon and moved it into the White House."

 

Now the last and I think best.....

"These White House scandals are not going away anytime soon. It's gotten so bad that people in Kenya are now saying he's 100 percent American."

 

There's A Lot Of Truth In Humor.    Everyone Of Those Lines Above Was Uttered By Jay Leno

Entry #1,030

Naturalized U.S. citizen charged becoming ISIS sniper & weapons instructor

_____________

Naturalized U.S. citizen charged with becoming ISIS sniper and weapons instructor

American man accused of becoming ISIS sniper faces federal terror charges

 

Federal investigators say the man rose through the ranks to train other ISIS fighters; called Emir  (Arabic Prince)

A 42-year-old Brooklyn,  New York, man has been charged with providing and attempting to provide material support – including training, services and personnel – to  ISIS in Syria, the Department of Justice announced Friday after unsealing a criminal complaint in Brooklyn federal court.

 

Ruslan Maratovich Asainov, a Kazakhstan-born, naturalized U.S citizen is alleged to have traveled to Istabul, Turkey, in late 2013 before moving across the border into Syria where he became a sniper for the designated terrorist outfit.

Asainov then rose through the ranks, prosecutors contend, to become an “emir” and oversaw the training of other ISIS recruits in the use of weapons. He is also accused of attempting to entice another person residing in the U.S. to join ISIS in Syria.

 

ISIS SLEEPER CELLS BURN, BLOW UP AND SLAUGHTER HUNDREDS IN UPTICK OF ATTACKS ACROSS IRAQ AND SYRIA

 

“The defendant, a naturalized U.S. citizen residing in Brooklyn, turned his back on the country that took him in and joined ISIS, serving its violent ends in Syria,” U.S Attorney Richard Donoghue stated, highlighting that he will now face justice in an American courtroom. “We hope countries around the world, including our European allies and partners, will likewise repatriate and prosecute their own citizens for traveling to support ISIS.”

A fighter of the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL) holds an ISIL flag and a weapon on a street in the city of Mosul, June 23, 2014. U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry held crisis talks with leaders of Iraq's autonomous Kurdish region on Tuesday urging them to stand with Baghdad in the face of a Sunni insurgent onslaught that threatens to dismember the country. 

 

In March 2015 he requested $2,800 from an informant to purchase a rifle scope, sending photographs of boasting about the group’s barbarity and declaring his wish to die on the battlefield. Instead, he was later detained by the U.S-backed Syrian Democratic Forces (SDF) and transferred into FBI custody on Wednesday.

 

He is slated to appear in court Friday afternoon.

“This arrest serves as a warning to anyone anywhere in the world who intends to support or conduct attacks on behalf of terrorist groups against the United States,” added NYPD Commissioner James O’Neill. “You will be brought to justice.”

Entry #1,029

Socialism Reality And Our Taxes :-(

SOCIALISM REALITY AND OUR TAXES......

-

 

LET ME UNDERSTAND THIS:   

If your parents  break the law to get you into college  YOU should be expelled from school THEY  should be indicted, charged and convicted of a felony and may serve time in jail.

 

BUT AS SOCIALISTS…   

If your parents  Break the Law to get into  THIS country:  YOU“SHOULD” be given  FREE EDUCATION,  ( PAID FOR BY  YOU ) HEALTHCARE  (ALSO PAID BY YOU )  and  EVERYONE should be given AMNESTY?

  WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?

Entry #1,026

Gotta Luv Our Old People :-)

Gotta Luv, Luv Our Old People Big Smile

 

   

*Make sure you read the last comment statement!!!!!!!!!

   

  Gotta Luv, Luv Our Old People

 

 

   

A doctor who had been seeing an 80 year old woman formost of her life finally retired.  At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her.  As the doctor was looking through these his eyes grew wide as he realized Grandma had a prescription for

birth control pills.

 

"Mrs. Smith , do you realize these are birth control pills?"

 

"Yes, they help me sleep at night ."

 

"Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely nothing in these that could possibly help you sleep!"

 

She reached out and patted the young doctor's knee and said, "Yes, dear, I know that.  But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old granddaughter drinks .  And believe me ; it definitely helps me sleep at night"

~  

A man was riding on a full bus minding his own business when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breast-feed her baby.  The baby wouldn't take it so she said , "Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I'll have to give it to this nice man next to us."  Five minutes later the baby was still not feeding , so she

said, "Come on, honey.  Take it or I'll give it to this nice man here ."  A few minutes later the anxious man blurted out, "Come on kid.  Make up your mind !  I was supposed to get off four stops ago !"

~

   

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam.  The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of mother's milk .'  The question was worth 70 points or none at all.  One student was hard put to think of seven advantages.  He wrote:

 

1) ' It is perfect formula for the child.

 

2)  It provides immunity against several diseases.

 

3)  It is always the right temperature.

 

4)  It is inexpensive .

 

5)  It bonds the child to mother and vice versa .

 

6)  It is always available as needed .'

 

And then the student was stuck .  Finally , in desperation , just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test , he wrote :

 

7) ' It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it .

 

He got an A+ . '

~

   

A woman and her 12  year old son were riding in a taxi

in Detroit .  It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under awnings .

 

"Mom ," said the boy, "what are all those women doing?"

 

"They're waiting for their husbands to get off work ," she replied

 

The taxi driver turns around and says , "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth ?  They're hookers, boy !  They have sex with men for money ."

 

The little boy's eyes get wide and he says , "Is that true Mom ?"

 

His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers ,"Yes."

 

After a few minutes the kid asks , "Mom, if those women have abies ,  what happens to them ?"

 

She said , "Most of them become taxi drivers ."

~

   

An elderly, but hardy cattleman from Texas once told a young female neighbour that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on her oatmeal each morning .  She did this religiously and lived to the ripe old age of  103   She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren,

21 great grandchildren, five great great grandchildren and a 40 foot HOLE where the crematorium used to be .

~

Entry #1,025

Cattle Guards & Obama/Joe Biden :-)

-

Cattle Guards

 

For those of you who have never traveled to the west or southwest, cattle guards are horizontal steel rails placed at fence openings, in dug-out places in the roads adjacent to highways (and sometimes across highways), to prevent cattle from crossing over that area.   For some reason the cattle will not step on the "guards," probably because they fear getting their feet caught between the rails.When President Obama received and was reading a report that there were over 100,000 cattle guards in Colorado.   The Colorado ranchers had protested his proposed changes in grazing policies, so he ordered the Secretary of the Interior to fire half of the "cattle" guards immediately!

 

Before the Secretary of the Interior could respond and presumably try to straighten President Obama out on the matter, Vice-President Joe Biden, intervened with a request that, before any "cattle" guards were fired, they be given six months of retraining.   'Times are hard,' said Joe Biden, 'it's only fair to the cattle guards and their families be given six months of retraining! '

 

While those two guys were running our country, everything they touched became a mess.   

 

NOW JOE WANTS TO BE PRESIDENT!   Passed on to you without further comment.

Entry #1,024

The Stranded Irishman   :-)

Stranded Irishman Lep

 

 

  Stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw the horizon. 

   

  He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship." 

 

  As the we speck got a closer and closer, he began to rule out even the 

  possibilities of a small boat or a raft. 

   

  Suddenly there strode from the surf a figure clad in a black wet suit. 

  Putting aside the scuba tanks and mask and zipping down the top of the 

  wet suit stood a drop-dead collin gorgeous blond! 

   

  She walked up to the  stunned Irishman and said to him, "Tell me, how 

  long has it been since you've had a good  cigar?" 

   

  "Ten  years," replied the amazed Irishman. 

   

  With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the 

  left sleeve of her wet  suit and pulled out a fresh package of cigars 

  and a lighter. 

   

  He took a cigar, slowly lit it, and took a long drag.  "Faith and 

  begorrah," said the castaway... "Ahh, that is so good! I'd almost 

  forgotten how great a smoke can be!" 

   

  "And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Bushmill's 

  Irish Whiskey?" asked the blond.

   

  Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years." 

   

  Hearing that, the blond reached over to her right sleeve, unzipped a 

  pocket there and removed a flask and handed it to him. 

   

  He opened the flask and took a long drink. "'Tis nectar of the gods!" 

  shouted the Irishman. " 'Yurt Tis truly fantastic!!!" 

   

  At this point the gorgeous blond started to slowly unzip the long 

  front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the 

  trembling man and asked, "And how long has it been since you've played 

  around?" 

   

  With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, 

  "Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Don't tell me that  you've got mi golf clubs in there too!" 

Entry #1,022