LETTERMAN'S
TOP 10 REASONS TO VOTE DEMOCRAT 

#10.  I vote Democrat because I love the fact that I can now  marry
whatever I want. I've decided to marry my German Shepherd. 

#9.  I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of  4% on
a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same  gallon
at 15% isn't. 

#8.  I vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a  better
job of spending the money I earn than I would. 

#7.  I vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as  nobody
is offended by it. 

#6.  I vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a  gun,
and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from  murderers
and thieves.  I am also thankful that we have a 911 service  that
gets police to your home in order to identify your body after a home 
invasion. 

#5.  I vote Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of  babies
being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive and  comfy.

#4.  I vote Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right  to
free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we  should
take away Social Security from those who paid into it. 

#3. I vote Democrat because I believe that businesses should not  be
allowed to make profits for themselves.  They need to break even and  give
the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrat  Party
sees fit. 

#2.  I vote Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to  rewrite
the Constitution every few days to suit fringe kooks who would  never
get their agendas past the voters. 

... And, the #1 reason I vote Democrat is because I think it's  better
to pay $billions$ for oil to people who hate us, but not drill our  own
because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher, or fish here  in
America.  We don't care about the beetles, gophers, or fish in those  other
countries. 

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has  its
limits"... Albert Einstein 

I know you all will appreciate this definition.  The best  description of Obamacare so far:

Remember when Nancy Pelosi said:   "We have to pass it, to find out what's in it." 

A physician called into a radio show and said: "That's the  definition
of a stool sample."