This could/will be us.....

 

Couple in  their nineties are both having problems remembering things. 

During a  check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they 

might want to start writing things down to help them remember. 

Later that  night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair 

'Want  anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.

 

'Will you  get me a bowl of ice cream?' 

'Sure.' 

 

'Don't you  think you should write it down so you can remember it?'  she 

asks. 

 

'No, I  can remember it.' 

 

'Well, I'd  like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it 

down,  so as not to forget it?' 

 

He says,  'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream  with 

strawberries.' 

 

'I'd also  like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it 

down?' she  asks. 

 

Irritated, he  says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice 

cream with  strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for  goodness sake!' 

 

Then he  toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man 

returns  from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She 

stares  at the plate for a moment. 

'Where's my  toast?'

 

 

An elderly  couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating 

the  wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen  were 

talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it 

was really great I would recommend it very highly.'  The other man said, 

'What is the name of the restaurant?' 

 

The first  man thought and thought and finally said 'what’s the name of 

that flower you  give to someone you love? You know, the one that's red and has 

thorns.'  'Do you mean a rose?' 'Yes, that's the one,'  replied the man. 

He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose,  what's the name of 

that restaurant we went to last  night?' 

 

 

Hospital  regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. 

However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman 

already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who 

insisted he didn't need  my help to leave the hospital. 

 

After a chat  about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to 

the  elevator. 

 

On the way down  I asked him if his wife was meeting him. 'I don't know,' 

he said. 'She's  still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her  hospital 

gown.'

 

 

A senior  citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: 'So I hear  you're 

getting married?' 'Yep!'' Do I know  her?' 'Nope!' 'This woman, is she  good 

looking?' 

'Not  really.' 

'Is she a good  cook?' 

'Nah, she can't  cook too well.' 

'Does she have lots  of money?' 

'Nope! 

Poor  as a church mouse.' 

'Well, then, is she  good in bed?' 

'I  don't know.' 

’Why in the world  do you want to marry her then?’ 

'Because she  can still drive!' 

 

 

A man was telling  his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost 

me four  thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.' 

'Really,' 

answered  the neighbor. 'What kind is it?' 

'Twelve thirty.' 

 

 

Morris, an 82  year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. 

A few days  later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a 

gorgeous  young woman on his arm. 

A couple of  days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're 

really doing  great, aren't you?' 

Morris replied,  'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and  be 

cheerful.'' 

The doctor  said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; 

be  careful.' 

 

 

One  more........

A little old  man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled 

himself  slowly, painfully, up onto a stool... After catching his breath, he  ordered a 

banana split. 

 

The waitress  asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 

'No,' he  replied, 'Arthritis.'