And of course, let us not forget those wonderful carolers who go door to door to spread the holiday cheer (but then again, just hold on a minute, I am 41 years old now and I have never ever heard a damn caroler. Just who the hell came up with that damn myth? Oh wait, I keep forgetting about the “You will be shot for trespassing” sign I keep posted out there in front of the mock cemetery with headstones that read “Here Lies Another Jehovah Witness who couldn’t read”, perhaps that is what keeps them away, oh well, never mind).

And finally, all of that warm Family cheer of celebrating the Holiday season together as one big happy family should year after year (of course, don’t forget the clause in the restraining order that allows you to attend family functions as long as your out of arm reach of everyone – I mean they still act offended for me threatening to shoot them instead of their tires the next time they arrived unannounced – like how was I suppose to know it was Family?).

So folks, may you all have an incredible and safe Christmas Season and a fantastic New Year to come (oh yeah, like it’s going to be great, just means I have to find a new place to live so that the IRS doesn’t catch-up with me again – I think they are still mad cause I tried to get out paying by claiming I was an illegal immigrant -  I mean sheesh, they don’t have to pay taxes, why should I?)