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Chocolate Humor

Published:

Chocolate Humor
(found at http://www.chocolatefountainsales.com/)

*If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

*The 12-step chocoholics program: NEVER BE MORE THAN 12 STEPS AWAY FROM CHOCOLATE!

*Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces.

*Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. Therefore, chocolate is therapeutic.

*There's nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with CHOCOLATE.

*This guy found a bottle on the ocean, and he opened it and out popped a genie, and he gave him three wishes. The guy wished for a million dollars, and poof! there was a million dollars. Then he wished for a convertible, and poof! there was a convertible. And then, he wished he could be irresistible to all women... poof! he turned into a box of chocolates.

*Exercise is a dirty word... Every time I hear it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

*I don't understand why so many "so called" chocolate lovers complain about the calories in chocolate, when all true chocoholics know that it is a vegetable. It comes from the cocoa bean, beans are veggies, 'nuff said.

*I could give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter.

*I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process.... It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance?

*I'm a serious chocoholic. For the serious chocoholic, chocolate is better than sex. If you believe that, you REALLY need to meet that special someone who can change your mind. If you HAVE met that special someone and still believe that, I REALLY NEED to know where you get your chocolate!!!

*Life is like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're going to get!

*Put "Eat Chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

*Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less.

*The problem: how to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: eat it in the parking lot.

*If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You can't let that happen, can you?

*******Facts & Fiction******
Chocolate and fat

Chocolate contributes less than two percent of the fat in the American diet.
The main sources of fat are meat, full fat dairy products, and fried foods.

Chocolate and saturated fats
While chocolate contains some saturated fats, studies have shown that not all types of saturated fats raise blood cholesterol levels. For example, stearic acid is a saturated fat that makes up one-third of the fat in chocolate. Stearic acid does not raise blood cholesterol levels. In addition, oleic acid, a monounsaturated fat also found in olive oil, makes up one-third of the fat in chocolate. Eating foods with oleic acid as part of a healthful eating plan has been shown to be beneficial for heart health.

Chocolate and polyphenols
Chocolate is made from cocoa beans which come from the cocoa tree Theobroma cacao. As a result, chocolate contains many of the same healthy compounds from plants, including minerals (copper, iron, zinc, and magnesium) and specific antioxidants called polyphenols. Polyphenols, like those found in tea and red wine are currently being studied for their potential health benefits.

Chocolate and allergies
Allergies to chocolate are very uncommon. If you have been diagnosed with food allergies by a board-certified allergist, you must read labels and avoid the foods or ingredients that cause the allergic reaction. A registered dietitian can help you plan meals and select foods that exclude the food to which you are allergic.

Chocolate and headaches
Research shows that most headaches and chocolate intake are not related. Experts agree that most often it is stress, irregular sleep patterns, hunger, and hormone changes that trigger headaches.

Chocolate and tooth decay
Tooth decay happens when carbohydrates (both complex and simple) mix with natural bacteria in the mouth. This creates acid that breaks down the enamel on teeth. Chocolate, which contains carbohydrates, is no more or less responsible for tooth decay than other carbohydrate- containing foods like bread, raisins, crackers, and fruit. In fact, chocolate actually clears the mouth relatively quickly, reducing the time it spends in contact with the teeth.

Chocolate cravings
A recent study looked at why we crave chocolate and concluded that people do not become addicted to chocolate. Instead, the study found that people desire chocolate because they enjoy the sensation of eating it.

Chocolate and hyperactivity
Pediatricians say there is no link between the sugar found in chocolate or other foods and restlessness or attention-deficit-hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in children.

Entry #39

Comments

1.
konaneComment by konane - December 21, 2006, 8:40 am
And besides it tastes sooooo good!! Only cautionary statement is keep it away from animals, don't feed them even a crumb of it because it's toxic to them.
2.
justxploringComment by justxploring - December 21, 2006, 8:16 pm
I only like dark chocolate. It does seem to have a calming effect on me. One late evening I awoke and had a vision. An angel appeared to me and said "Nancy, you have a choice. You can either pick sex or chocolate." (I'm looking forward to my truffle after dinner tonight.)

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