I had these links in my signature because it was so convenient each time I logged on I could click on them and enjoy them but just realized I could do the same thing if I had them here in my blog!...so here they are!

https://youtu.be/gNSfhSXtvSk  ...really like this one...the kitty reminds me of myself so I will keep on moving like she is doing...you just can't give up!

 https://youtu.be/cy46iOwWQiE  ...and have always liked Matthew Wilder!

 https://youtu.be/gI7YHZVc7mM  ... dearly love Deniece Williams!...this is one of my favorites!

https://youtu.be/KBCWLhlJV0Y   ...absolutely always loved Aretha Franklin & George Michael..the very best!

I used to be a "wild child" & in some ways am now though I have grown up a little bit believe it or not & it's about darn time I did!

Have learned to stand up for myself more than I used to also so that's good!

I have always loved the underdogs...maybe I'm one too but I will go out on a limb for one hopefully to help them feel better and at the same time it will help me feel better....need to do it more often here lately...there are lots of ways you can help a person and it does not have to always be with money!

I know without a shadow of a doubt I could write a book of my life and may do that (bet some others on here could too)...there are things in my past I'm not proud of but there are many many things I am proud of...my ex & I were in a business for a few years and he was still in it when we divorced where people looked up to us and we were in the local newspaper a lot & was featured in our main company's trade magazine more than once for having one of the best franchises in the business.

...long story short I could not really handle the fact that we were looked up to....maybe I thought I didn't deserve it...don't know what the reason was but anyway I went thru a period of where I (as they call it "acted out")....did all sorts of crazy things to cope...finally came to my senses and said well this is not the way to go so gave all of that up & started being more responsible....I had it made & didn't even know it!

After my divorce I knew I had to be responsible because I was alone with nobody to take care of me but me....so you grow up real fast when that registers in your mind.

Then in 2008 I found this website on here called Lottery Post and we had just gotten the lottery in NC in Oct. of 2006...& at the time I was working part time at a car dealership as their receptionist and the men there were all excited about the lottery coming and they kept talking about playing pick 3 so of course I got interested in it also...back then if I played over one playslip for 50 cents each & didn't win anything I'd be crushed but as time went on it creeped up and up then before long $20 a pop didn't seem like much then it seemed to start getting out of hand so I knew I had to get a hold of the situation.

...but the thing was I was winning often....not much but often & that will keep you playing...well I have played ever since it came to NC...once in awhile I will take a mini break but not that much but I have talked to some on here recently who have told me they spend hundreds at a time and almost lost everything they had (you'd be surprised to know who they are)...not ever going to tell for sure but I knew darn well I didn't want to do that so that has more or less reigned me back in....again I have to realize it's me who has to take care of myself with God's help.

I almost went off the deep end recently when my 12 year old male cat had to be put down for cancer & I didn't even know he was sick until the last 2 days then almost a month later my other female cat had a growth in her mouth...I would not have known if it had not started protruding out of the side of her little mouth...this was on a Sat. so on Monday took her to the vet and he said we have to operate tomorrow...he got it all but the specimen he sent off came back that it was cancerous so I got down in the dumps again but have been praying about this and came to the conclusion that I'm going to make my kitty cat as comfortable as possible and if it comes back will make the decision at the time...she's 10 almost 11 & has had a good life here with me & my other kitty cat.

As I think back on my life it could have turned out different though it's not bad now and I have a lot to be grateful for but I think things happen the way they're supposed to and also for a reason...I have had 3 marriage proposals since my divorce and the last one was well off and I would not ever have had to worry about money but then I got to thinking about it and money is not that important if you don't love the person so I didn't marry him....he moved to another state and ended up marrying a lady he met there and a couple of years later I read in the paper of his death...he had a heart attack.

I have always been a very trusting person and that will get you in trouble fast these days....the last one I poured my heart out to backfired big time and I vowed I would never do it again and I haven't unless it was something I did not care if they repeated what I had told them...it seems I have to learn lessons about everything....maybe one day I'll get it down pat but I really think everybody learns lessons every single day about something whether they choose to let it help them or not....I try to learn from it!

I also suffer from chronic pain and at one time was complaining all the time to anyone who would listen then found out there are millions of others just like me who were healthy all their life then arthritis or some other ailment caught up with them so I've decided not to let it get me down...just take one day at the time and thank God at the end of the day and do it again the next day...works so much better now.

One thing that helps me get back centered it to read the bible and motivational books...I have a lot of them...it's so easy to feel sorry for myself as I'm sure it it is for a lot of others but that's what will get you in trouble in a heartbeat...God helps those who helps themselves!

I remember talking to DkWillis's husband on the phone one time when I had called her and she wasn't home and he had the same kind of chronic pain I do but his attitude was great and I said then if he can do it so can it....he told me to exercise more & that helped him...sadly DK lost him some time later the next year and he is in heaven now watching over her!

...my brother, mother & daddy is up there watching over me too...I was looking at my dad's picture on the dresser one day and thinking about the fact that he never held me...just rocked the cradle with his foot because he was dying of cancer and so help me the picture fell over....this is true...nothing could have caused it to fall nothing at all but it did and I think he was saying I'm here with you...I also saw an angel one time but will save that for another blog entry.

I could write more but think this is enough for now...probably too much and nobody will probably even have the patience to read it but it's a blog and it helped me!