This is a story with a happy ending...

I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig."

“Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.  "Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd cry.  I can't stand to see a man crying.”

"This is the worst day of my life," I said. "I'm a complete failure.  I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me.  When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance.  I left my wallet in the cab I took home.  I found my wife with another man ... and then my dog bit me."

"So, I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all.  I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in it and sit here watching the poison dissolve.  Then you show up and drink the whole <snip> thing! 

-But, hell, enough about me, how are you doing?"