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Dog Food Diet


I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina Dog Chow for Lola and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd
ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. 


Her eyes about bugged out of her head.


I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.


Entry #42


justxploringComment by justxploring - January 27, 2007, 3:16 pm
Although not as funny, I have a similar story. I worked for a company for many years and once a woman was hired who was really odd. One day I had a sore throat and was a little hoarse. She said something silly (like the woman in your story) and I told her with a straight face that my cat was having terrible problems with her tongue, so I helped her groom herself that morning. I said "It's probably all that cat hair stuck in my throat. None of these throat lozenges say anything about treating fur balls."

From time to time she'd ask me how my cat was feeling.
JAP69Comment by JAP69 - January 27, 2007, 7:29 pm
I read this this morning.
After my eyes cleared from laughter after about 5 minutes I read the last line.

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