. Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

 

. How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.

 

. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

 

. I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

 

. They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.

 

. I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

 

. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

 

. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

 

. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

 

. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

 

. When chemists die, they barium.

 

. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

 

. Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

 

. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

 

. Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

 

. When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

 

. Broken pencils are pointless.

 

. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

 

. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

 

. Velcro - what a rip off!

 

. Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last.