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More loony people than anyone suspects

Published:

Just random observations but I can't go a week without seeing something that convinces me there are a lot more crazy people out there than anyone suspects:

Here we go: ( my comment in italics):

We were in church when the pastor's baby was baptized by the bishop. The baby was about two months old. During the baptism, the bishop said, referring to the baby, "She'll always remember this day."

Hello! No, she won't, she can't even talk right now.

During a sermon about why we baptise infants, a priest said, "Why, look at our Lord when He got baptized."

And how old was He then?

I was talking with a preacher who went on a rant about "homos" for a solid half hour. I asked him what about hermaphrodites. He asked me what that was. When I told him, he said there was no such thing and I made it up.

Oh that did a ton of good for his credibility.

The same preacher told me if a college student had an NFL contract offered to him, he should turn it down because the NFL plays
on Sundays.

What?

In Sunday School the topic of a Hundu custom of a wife being expected to throw herself on her husbad's funeral pyre, so she'd die along with him, came up. A woman in our group said, "Well, we have to respect the customs of other cultures you know."

Yeah, right.

 

A friend of my wife's owns a Plumbing and Heating business. He just put a "No Smoking" sign up in his shop. then he checked his mail and got some Doral coupons - he handed them out to the guys he just told not to smoke in the shop.

When I was in high school, we had a guy that had a hot dog cart at the football games, "Augie's Doggies." He sold Cokes for 10 cents each or "two for a quarter." He got that on gor years, he said hardly anyon buys one Coke, when they say they're getting a Coke somebody is going to say get them one, too. If you questioned it he'd laugh and give you change from a quarter, but hardly anyone did.

In the casino game of dice, the odds against rolling 2 or 12 are exactly the same, 35 to 1. Yet ask almost any dealer what rolls more, 2 or 12, and you'll get something like, "I've seen a whole lot more 12's than I've seen 2's."

The odds againt hitting Mega Millions lotto are over 176,000,000 to one. There are actually people that believe that playing two tickets instead of just one cuts the odds in half.

When I worked "at the Cal" in Vegas (California Hotel, yup the Hotel California! frizz.gif) a friend and I would walk down the street and walk through the Horsheshoe every night just to see what was going on. This was between 2 and 4 a.m. In the casino. One time he said, "I really hope to meet a hot babe in here some night that doesn't drink or gamble."

Chuck, hello! We're at a bar in a casino!

After Cleveland Cavaliers basketball gzmes, WTAN radio Cleveland has a program called "The Cavaliers call-in show, without calls."

 

In a flyer for a book club I received today, on the same page:

Apocalypse 2012
Is this the end of the world?

and immediately under that, another book
2013 Oracle
Transitioning in the new humanity, discover what the post-2012 future holds...               

Salem Kirban, who writes a lot of end times stuff, and has been for many years, was sending out a flyer for an end times book, one of those, "the time draws nigh" type of books - and along with that was a special on vitmain packs that he was selling as part of his healthy living 'ministry'.

I remember reading it and thinking, "Where's the cover sheet for the vitamin info, the one that says, "And just in case this isn't the end....."               

tbc.......

Everyone is invited to post examples....... 

 

 

 

 

Entry #7

Comments

1.
justxploringComment by justxploring - February 20, 2007, 7:28 pm
Wow. Your brain is on overdrive today. Good post.

Let's see...I would never throw myself on any man's funeral pyre, no matter how hot he was!

The priest probably never met a hermaphrodite. Most parishioners who play in church only use one organ.

The comment about the baby remembering the Baptism reminds me of when I had to shop for a casket. The funeral director always makes it sound as if the deceased will enjoy herself more in a fancier casket with all the bells & whistles. I'll fill you in on a secret...I want a cell phone, just in case.

Your friend in the casino reminds me of a boss I had who was a very nice guy, happily married to a proper woman with 2 very nice children. He was also a Cub Scout master. He used to go to the strip clubs in the seedy section of town during lunch and sometimes after work (if there wasn't a Cub Scout meeting.)


2.
Comment by pacattack05 - February 20, 2007, 7:36 pm
Thanx....that was very entertaining.

I worked for a market research company in new york, starting on the phones and working my way up to supervisor. My job was to secretly tap into one of the callers sitting in full view of the callers, inside a glass booth, and make sure they read verbatim.

But my point is that during those times I was on the phone, before being a supervisor, there were signs on the walls, all around defining simple knowledge.

They had many sets of signs hanging on the walls saying: "noon=12:00 PM

And midnight= 12:00 AM....I kid you not.

We lost a $100,000 year account held for 7 years, because one of the clients secretly listned in on one of the callers which pronounced the word "Photography" as "Foto-graffy".
I saw that letter that requested they no longer do business with them.

I feel your pain.....LOL

But I have to say, what you have here is a nice list that I have to tell my friends about.

As for the religous people in the beginning, I have no trouble with people who worship, but like you wrote, some of them get too caught up and stop thinking for themselves, when it comes to problem solving. There has to be a balance.
After all God gave us a brain for a reason.
3.
Comment by pacattack05 - February 20, 2007, 8:16 pm
This also reminds me of the comedian The cable guy.

HERE"S YOUR SIGN..........LOL
4.
Coin TossComment by Coin Toss - February 20, 2007, 9:56 pm
pacattack05

We heard this one many, many times in Vegas:
"What time is the midnight show?"

Here's more....
This past Sunday the question of purgatory came up (not a Roman Catholic church). So one guy goes off on a diatribe about he doesn't believe in purgatory but does believe we don't die and go straight to heaven, there's some kind of "purification" process or something first.

Hello! If you believe that you believe in purgatory!


5.
justxploringComment by justxploring - February 20, 2007, 11:44 pm
Actually, the purification process is something that's taught in the Jewish religion. It's not Purgatory or Hell. It's called Gehenna and it is a place where a person is spiritually cleansed up to a period of one year, depending upon his sins, before entering the Kingdom of Heaven. I suppose that's a sort of Purgatory, but with a schedule.
6.
justxploringComment by justxploring - February 20, 2007, 11:46 pm
Oh, speaking of the time of the Midnight Show...have you ever gone through the drive-thru and asked for something "To Go?" How about an ice cream cone "To Go?"
Once I was in Walgreens and asked for a of of Exlax to go. (groan)
7.
Comment by pacattack05 - February 21, 2007, 7:10 pm
I'm ashamed to admit it, but yes justxploring, I've done it many times....OOOPS!!!
8.
Coin TossComment by Coin Toss - February 22, 2007, 12:50 am
I can just see it.......some poor slob thst works at a drive-thru window sees a car with Flrida plates: FLA JUSTXPLORING.....and they tell a co-worker, "This is going to be good."

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