•  Martin Martin

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My friends and I, who are religion-free (otherwise known as atheist), are debating how to respond to people who tell us to “Have a blessed day” or use any other religious sign off. It’s especially frustrating and offensive in what should be religion-free places of business, such as the doctor’s office or a public agency.

While we don’t want to be rude, and we know some people may not even understand why it is offensive and genuinely think they are being nice, we also don’t want the obvious proselytizing and forced religious exchange to go unchecked.

It’s tempting to respond with “Under his eye” or to explain that it’s offensive, but that would mean revealing private information about our personal religious status. And when you reveal you aren’t religious to someone who is, you risk being treated badly.

Instead, we almost always end up gritting our teeth and replying “You, too” or “Have a nice day” and letting it go. But it wears on us and makes us feel unwelcome and discriminated against. And it’s becoming more and more prevalent.

Is there a polite way to respond that also gently tells the other person that that phrase is inappropriate and unwelcome?

GENTLE READER: Although you and your friends are religion-free, language is not. Even “goodbye” derives from “God be with ye.” People who bless you when you sneeze would be puzzled to be accused of forcing their religion on you.

As you are against bringing religion into public discourse, Miss Manners wonders why you are even tempted to open such discussions. Explaining your position is surely an opening for others to explain theirs. She suggests that you continue to tolerate conventional cliches and stop taking them personally."